The "Mini-Mes"

Before my wife and I ever had kids, we used to joke about having "mini-mes" - a boy who looked like me and a girl who looked like her.  Lo and behold, all of these years later, that's exactly what we have.  It's not just that they look like us; their personalities are so similar, it's almost scary.

You'll recall from an earlier blog post that my son is 12 and in the 7th grade.  While I don't necessarily see the resemblance in our faces (aside from the dark hair and mole under our left eye), I'm told it's there so I have to take everyone else's word for it.  His body type and build are definitely like mine.  He's skinny and short for his age; I was also always skinny and a little small for my age.  In fact, my nicknames in 6th grade were "Pee Wee" and "Ethiopian."  (If you don't believe me, I could dig up my 6th grade yearbook, in which someone wrote "To the nicest toothpick I've ever known.")  His skinny arms and bird legs remind me of my own that, in spite of working out and running on a regular basis, are still skinnier than I'd like.

While he has always enjoyed sports, he's never been a particularly good athlete, especially in team sports.  I was always the same way.  I always WANTED to be good at sports, but I was usually the last kid picked for kickball at recess.  He has shown some promise in individual sports (especially tennis), while my best sport was probably racquetball, another individual sport.  He has always had a strong sense of right and wrong and wanted to obey the rules; I was -- and still am -- the same way.  He hates when people cut in line or bend the rules for their own benefit; I'm the same way.  (Yes, buddy, I see you over there, trying to merge at the last minute even though you've known for a mile that your lane was ending.  And, no, I'm not going to let you in.  You should have waited in line like everybody else.  And, now I'm getting the finger?  You have a good day, too!)  My son is often scared to try new things - whether it be roller coasters or riding a bike - but once he overcomes that fear, he loves those things.  I was the same way.  I didn't ride my first big roller coaster - the Screamin' Eagle - until I was in middle school and got peer pressured to do so by my brother.  Once I rode it, I loved it and rode it several more times that day.  My son didn't ride his first big roller coaster - American Thunder - until he was in middle school and got peer pressured to do so by his best friend.  He loved it and rode it several more times that day

He's a sensitive boy who takes things personally and tends to fret and be a worry wart.  I was the same way as a kid and, really, I'm still that way as an adult.  (I was going to say "middle-aged person" but apparently referring to myself as middle-aged causes people to freak out, even though I am statistically the definition of middle-aged. :) But I digress...)  He's a good student who is his own biggest critic and doubter, traits that I still struggle with to this very day.  When he is around people he doesn't know, he's very shy and quiet.  However, once he gets to know you, he'll talk your ear off and will be very animated.  Those who know me well will say the exact same thing about me.  He's not one to be invited to the big social gatherings and neither was I.  (I can't refer to parties, yet, because he's only 12.)  While he knows a lot of people and gets along pretty well with almost everyone, he has a fairly small group of friends that he's very close to and with whom he spends most of his time.  I've always been that way, too, as I'm sure some of you reading this can definitely confirm.

In some ways, having a son so much like me bothers me, because I see a lot of the things I don't like about myself in him: the fear of new things, the self-doubt and self-criticism.  I want to somehow convince him to let go of those things and have faith in himself.  In other ways, though, it's really cool having a son so much like me, because I know that, at his core, he's a good kid who is going to make good choices as he grows up.  I turned out pretty well, so I don't have too many concerns that he will turn out pretty well, too.

My daughter is a spitten image of my wife, both in looks and personality.  They are both blue-eyed blondes who have bubbly, effervescent personalities.  They are definitely glass half full people who have huge hearts.  My wife shows her heart every day - both in how she cares for our family at home and in how she cares for her students at work.  She is a special education teacher, a job that can be difficult and draining but also very rewarding.  My daughter says she wants to be a teacher, too, just like her mom, grandma and aunt.  She shows her heart in how she cares about and treats her friends and others.  Every teacher my daughter has had so far has talked about her heart and how she is a positive influence in the classroom with her fellow classmates.  They refer to her as a leader who is always willing to help others.  When one of my college friends came to visit in December, my daughter- without any prodding for me or anyone else- drew her a picture Christmas card.  It was a sweet gesture that was unexpected but a perfect glimpse into the kind of person that she is.

My daughter has a rather large group of friends and she is usually at the center of the group, owing again to her strong personality.  My wife always had a large group of friends growing up and she is the common thread in a couple of different groups of ladies now that regularly get together for dinner and drinks.  Whereas my son is afraid to try new things, my daughter has hardly any fear.  She first rode the Screamin' Eagle when she was 5.  When we went to White Water in Branson, she rode the speed slides - those slides that go straight down for several stories - when she was only 6 and when kids twice her age were chickening out in line ahead of us.  While it took weeks and weeks of practice and prodding for my son to learn to ride his bike, my daughter basically taught herself to ride her bike the first day we took the training wheels off.  They actually learned to ride their bikes the very same day!  While I was cheering my son on when he had finally managed to ride his bike around the cul-de-sac, I heard my daughter say "Hey, Daddy!  Look!"  I turned around and saw her riding her bike as well.  My wife has a willingness to roll the dice and try new things (she's done several home improvement projects that have all turned out great) and has a positive, "I can do it" attitude.  My daughter is the same way. She is willing to try almost anything, which is how we sometimes wind up with basketball, soccer, softball and dance all the same week.  My wife and daughter both enjoy watching HGTV, to the point where my daughter asks my wife if we have any episodes of "Fixer Upper" on DVR that she can watch!

When I look at my daughter, I can totally see her being just like my wife when she is an adult.  A beautiful, fun loving, caring, big hearted woman who balances the demands of life while somehow almost always keeping a smile on her face.

As you can tell, I'm a proud papa who feels incredibly blessed to have two great kids...as well as a wonderful wife.  While I'm sure there will be times when my kids will have me pulling out my hair as they grow up (especially my daughter), I'm also confident that they will both turn out to be genuinely good human beings, which is basically all I can ask for as a parent, right?

Thanks for reading!