Best and Worst Sports Stadium Names

I love sports.  I also love "best and worst" lists.  Anyone who has been a regular reader of this blog can attest to both of those.  With that in mind, I wanted to do a list of the best and worst sports stadium/arena names.

Before we get started, let me say that I hate the trend of corporate sponsorships of stadium and arena names.  Some work better than others (those corporate names that are also a person's last name - Busch, Miller, Coors, Wrigley - aren't too bad), but in general, corporates names on stadiums suck.  Aside from generally sounding stupid, they often result in sports facilities frequently changing names as corporations merge, get acquired or go out of business.  For instance, the current arena in St. Louis is now on it's 4th name since 1994 while the arenas in Tampa, Philadelphia and Nashville are all on their 4th name since 1996.  Even worse, the football stadium in Nashville is on it's 4th name since 1999!  Aside from that, I don't understand why corporations spend tens or millions of dollars on having a sports facility named after them.  I mean, Scottrade and Edward Jones both had their names on sports facilities in St. Louis for years and I didn't move any of my investments to either of those companies and I'm sure no one else did, either.

For this post, we're focusing only on "big league" professional sports stadiums and arenas.  We're not including any college or minor league facilities.  Here we go...

Best Stadium Names (in no particular order):

Candlestick Park (1960-2014), San Francisco, CA - The stadium was named after its location on Candlestick Point on the western shore of San Francisco Bay, which was itself named for the candlestick birds that used to frequent the area.  I had the experience of attending a Giants game there in 1987.  While the setting for the stadium was beautiful, the stadium was not.  In spite of the fact that we were attending a game during the middle of the summer, we had to wear coats to the game and still froze thanks to the cool wind that the area is known for.  The game we were at featured a hot dog wrapper that blew around the stadium for several innings.  For the last decade or so of its existence, it unfortunately swapped it's great name for dumb corporate names like "3Com Park at Candlestick Point" and "Monster Park."

Riverfront Stadium (1970-2002), Cincinnati, OH - The stadium, which was located on the banks of the Ohio River in downtown Cincinnati, was appropriately named for its location.  The stadium itself was one of the multitude of multipurpose cookie cutter concrete bowls that sprouted up all over the country in the 1960s and 1970s, so it was pretty nondescript.  But I always loved the name.  Unfortunately, toward the end of its run, it succumbed to the corporate name craze, being changed to "Cinergy Field" from 1996-2002 after Cincinnati-based energy company Cinergy.

Three Rivers Stadium (1970-2000), Pittsburgh, PA - Like the preceding stadium, the actual facility was another faceless cookie cutter stadium.  But also like the first two stadiums, it had a unique name inspired by the physical location of the stadium.  In this case, the stadium was situated in Pittsburgh at the confluence of the Allegheny and Monongahela Rivers where they form the Ohio River. Unlike the first two stadiums on the list, this one never had a corporate name and stuck with its wonderful moniker throughout its 30 year existence.

Mile High Stadium (1948-2000), Denver, CO - Unlike the first three stadiums on our list, this one is nowhere near a body of water.  Rather it is named after its location in Denver, which is nicknamed the Mile High City.  The name was so good that they tried to maintain a part of it in the stadium that replaced it, in spite of stupid corporate names (Invesco Field at Mile High and then Sports Authority Field at Mile High).

Checkerdome (1977-1983), St. Louis, MO - Perhaps I'm biased, but this is one of the few times when a corporate name tie-in was kind of cooler than the original name.  The St. Louis Arena was the premier indoor sports facility in St. Louis from 1929 until the mid 1990s.  For all but 6 years of its existence, the venerable old barn (literally - it was built as the permanent home of the National Dairy Show) was called the St. Louis Arena.  But from 1977-1983, the arena and the Blues were owned by Ralston-Purina and it was renamed the "Checkerdome" as an homage to Purina's well known checkerboard logo.  Once Purina decided to sell the building and the team, it reverted back St. Louis Arena.

SkyDome (1989 - present), Toronto, Ontario - When this stadium opened in 1989, it was groundbreaking.  It was a retractable roof dome that featured a Hard Rock Cafe and a hotel.  It was the most cutting edge facility, so the name SkyDome was fitting.  Unfortunately, in 2005, the naming rights were sold to Rogers Communications and the name was changed from SkyDome to the decidedly less cool Rogers Centre (see worst names section below).

Saddledome (1983 - present), Calgary, Alberta - This arena got its name based upon it's unique saddle shape, which was, in turn, influenced by its location on the Calgary Stampede grounds.  It was built in the early 1980s as a new home for the Calgary Flames and to host the hockey and ice skating
events in the 1988 Winter Olympics.  While it has had some lame corporate sponsorships over the years (Canadian Airlines, Pengrowth and Scotiabank), the have always kept "Saddledome" as part of the name.  There is talk of replacing this arena sometime in the near future, but until then we can only hope that that the current building maintains its cool name.

Northlands Coliseum (1974 - 2018), Edmonton, Alberta - Sticking with the Canadian province of Alberta, we move a few hours further north to Edmonton, which is the city furthest north to have one of the "big 4" pro sports teams.  This, of course, means that the name Northlands Coliseum fits perfectly, though it's actually named after the Northlands entertainment complex of which it is a part.  The arena had several lame corporate names over its existence (Skyreach Centre and Rexall Place among them), but it reverted back to this unique name back in 2016.  Unfortunately, the Oilers have moved to a new arena with the terribly common name of Rogers Place (see worst names section below.)

Astrodome (1965 - present), Houston, TX - Known as the so called "Eighth Wonder of the World" when it opened, the Astrodome was the world's first domed stadium.  It was a modern, cutting-edge facility that was given the oh so appropriate name of the "Astrodome", which was also a nod to Houston's importance to NASA and America's space industry.  The first dome also led to the first artificial grass playing surface which was, of course, named AstroTurf.

Madison Square Garden (1964 - present), New York, NY - It's the most famous arena in the world and it's actually the fourth arena to bear this name.  The first two (built in 1879 and 1890) were located in Madison Square in Manhattan.  The third (built in 1925) was located further uptown, while the current facility is situated above Pennsylvania Station in Midtown Manhattan.  The "garden" name later inspired the name of the Boston Garden.  The building has never had a corporate name; rather, the MSG become the name of a corporation and a broadcasting network.

Polo Grounds (1890 - 1963), New York, NY - Staying in The Big Apple, this venerable stadium was site of Bobby Thomson's "Shot Heard 'Round the World" in 1951 as well as Willie Mays's incredible over the shoulder catch in the 1954 World Series.  The stadium was built on the site of a former polo field which gave it its unique name and was known for its distinctive bathtub shape with short distances down the lines (279 to left and 258 to right) but extremely deep distances to CF (483 feet).  It served as the home of the New York Giants (both baseball and football), the New York Yankees and the New York Mets before being demolished in the mid 1960s.

Oriole Park at Camden Yards (1992 - present), Baltimore, MD - The landmark retro ballpark that marked the end of the multipurpose cookie cutter stadium era and ushered in the era of retro ballparks. It has a simple name that reflects both the name of the team that plays there as well as its location at site of the old Camden Station rail yards.  Thankfully, unlike most of the new "retro" stadiums that followed in its wake, this gem has kept its non-corporate name throughout its existence.


Worst Stadium Names (in no particular order):

PSINet Stadium (1998 - present), Baltimore, MD - Just a short distance from Oriole Park at Camden Yards is the football stadium in Baltimore.  Initially, it was called Ravens Stadium at Camden Yards, keeping with the same naming convention used with the baseball stadium.  Unfortunately, they then went the corporate route and changed it to PSINet Stadium after PSINet, one of the first Internet Service Providers.  Within 2 years, the company went bankrupt, so I suppose the idea that this naming right would help the profile of the company didn't work out so well.  Unfortunately, the stadium wound up with another lame corporate name - M&T Bank Stadium. The Ravens team name is awesome - seeing as how it is a tribute to Edgar Allen Poe and his poem "The Raven" - but the stadium name stinks.

Anything with AT&T in the Name - There's AT&T Stadium in Arlington, TX.  There's AT&T Center in San Antonio, TX.  There's AT&T Park in San Francisco, CA.  Three different facilities - one for football, one for basketball and one for baseball - all with, essentially, the same name.  Any way you slice it, it's dumb.  And has anyone actually switched to AT&T from another provider because of it?  I think not.

Anything with Rogers in the Name - This is the Canadian equivalent of the AT&T thing.  There's Rogers Centre in Toronto. There's Rogers Place in Edmonton.  There's Rogers Arena in Vancouver.  Three different facilities all with, essentially the same name.  Boring and dumb.

Sleep Train Arena (1988-2016), Sacramento, CA - As I stated earlier, corporate names suck.  Some are just worse than others.  This is one of the worst.  Do I really need to elaborate?  By the way, do you want to know what this arena was called before this? The Power Balance Pavilion. Yuck.  They should have gone with "Capitaldome" or something playing up Sacramento's role as the capital of the country's most populous state.

Vivint Smart Home Arena (1991 - present), Salt Lake City, UT - This is another arena that has had a corporate name throughout its history, though the names just keep getting worse.  First, it was Delta Center, which isn't terrible.  Then it was EnergySolutions Arena after a nuclear waste company.  Since 2015, it has borne its current ridiculous name due to a naming rights deal with a home security company.

Guaranteed Rate Field (1991 - present), Chicago, IL - Originally known as New Comiskey Park or Comiskey Park II, it was known as US Cellular Field for 13 years before switching to this horrendous name in late 2016.  Named after a Chicago-based mortgage company that probably none of you have heard of, this has to rank as one of the worst stadium names.  In a city as diverse and exciting as Chicago, it's a shame that this is, apparently, the best that the White Sox could do. 

St. Pete Times Forum (1996 - present), Tampa, FL - This name is bad for several reasons.  First of all, it was named after a newspaper.  At a time when newspapers are struggling to survive, who thought it was a good idea to spend millions on a naming rights deal?  Even worse, it's named after the paper in St. Petersburg when the arena is in Tampa!  To be fair, they did change the name to Tampa Bay Times Forum (which is at least more accurate) in 2012 before changing it to Amalie Arena (after an oil company) in 2014.

KFC Yum! Center (2010 - present), Louisville, KY - A beautiful arena in a terrific location (right on the Ohio River in downtown Louisville) with a stupid, stupid name.  The KFC abbreviation would be bad enough, but adding the Yum and the "!" to it just makes it even worse.  Something like "Riverfront Coliseum" would have been great.  Or how about the "Kentucky Bourbon Barn?"

Smoothie King Center (1999 - present), New Orleans, LA - Of all of the dumb corporate names of sports facilities, this one takes the cake.  Do I even need to explain any further?  New Orleans is a festive place characterized by all manner of debauchery and lasciviousness, so having an arena named after a healthy, wholesome beverage purveyor just doesn't seem right.  How about "Laissez  Les Bon Temps Rouler Center?"

Just Because

• Just because you disagree with something...that doesn't mean that it should be illegal.
• Just because you disagree with a person's religion or beliefs or lifestyle...that doesn't mean you shouldn't still treat that person with respect and kindness. A little kindness can go a long way.
• Just because you are having a bad day...that doesn't give you permission to ruin someone else's.
• Just because something is right for you...that doesn't mean that it is right for someone else.
• Just because you may not like what someone says about you...that doesn't mean it isn't true.
• Just because you may not like what someone reports about you or about an issue...that doesn't make it false or "fake news".
• Just because a talking head said it on TV or the radio...that doesn't make it true. Think for yourself!
• Just because someone supports Democrats...that doesn't make them a Socialist or a Communist.  They may just support a different role of government than you do.
• Just because someone supports Republicans...that doesn't make them a racist who hates poor people or minorities and just loves money.  They may just support a different role of government and personal responsibility than you do.
• Just because someone has a college education and a good job that pays well...that doesn't mean that they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth.  You have no idea what they did in order to get through college and get to where they are in their career.
• Just because someone doesn't have a college degree...that doesn't mean they are lazy or stupid.  We all have different talents and skills and a college degree may not be the right path for everyone.
• Just because a movie or a song is popular or makes a lot of money...that doesn't necessarily mean it's good.
• Just because a movie or song or band isn't popular or makes a lot of money...that doesn't mean it's bad.  Some of the best movies I've seen and best music I've heard is completely unfamiliar to most people.
• Just because a person is from one of the coasts...that doesn't mean that they are a snooty, godless, elite.
• Just because a person is from "flyover country" or the South...that doesn't mean that they are an ignorant yokel who "clings to their God and their guns."
• Just because someone is vulnerable...that doesn't mean that you should take advantage of them.
• Just because someone appears to be happy...that doesn't mean that they aren't battling depression.
• Just because you failed before...that doesn't mean you should stop trying.
• Just because something happened before...that doesn't mean it will happen again.
• Just because you can...that doesn't mean that you should.

Parental Worries

A big part of being a parent is worrying.  From the moment you find out that you're pregnant (and by you're I'm referring jointly to both mom and dad) until, presumably, you die, you worry about your kids.  It's just that over time, what you worry about changes.  I was reminded of this again last week when my son got his learner's permit and this past weekend, when I took him for his first driving lesson.

When you're pregnant, you worry about having a healthy baby.  That you won't have a miscarriage.  That your baby will have ten fingers and toes, etc.  Pregnant women spend large amounts of money on prenatal vitamins and healthy eating and forego some of the other things they enjoy (caffeine, alcohol, etc.) to, in part, ensure that they have a healthy baby.  Once the baby is here and he or she is healthy and they do, in fact, have the requisite number of fingers and toes, you worry about them hitting all of the milestones they are supposed to hit as infants and then toddlers.  Reaching for things.  Rolling over on their own.  Pulling themselves up.  Walking. Crawling.  All of those things that show up in books like "What to Expect During the First Year."

Once you get past those hurdles, you start to be more concerned with their cognitive abilities and social skills.  Are they learning their colors and letter and numbers?  Are they able to get along with other kids and make friends?  Will they be ready for kindergarten when they are 5?  Parents worry about all of these things often.  Meanwhile, their little ones are oblivious to mom and dad's concerns and are instead focused on playing and exploring.

As their kids move on through elementary school and into middle school and high school, parents start to worry about their kids making friends with "good kids" and not fall in with the "wrong crowd."  Parents worry about their kids getting into booze or drugs.  As kids sometimes get sullen in their teenage years and less willing to communicate with their parents, parents thus worry about what is going on in their kids' heads.  Are they happy? Struggling with depression?

As things move on in their high school years, kids (and their friends) start driving and parents start worrying about car accidents and just hoping that their kids make it back home alive every night.  And they worry about their kids graduating from high school and then moving on to college or the military or a trade school.  Often, those options involve the kid being far from home.  For those first 18 years, parents worry about their kids even when they are all under the same roof.  So how much worse is it when the kid goes away to college or joins the military?  Out of sight certainly doesn't mean out of mind.

Even as the kids move on into adulthood, parents still worry about their kids.  Will they graduate from college?  Will they be able to get and keep a job?  Will they find that special someone and start a family of their own?

So, from conception until death (or dementia), parents worry about their kids.  What they worry about changes over time, but the worry is always there.

Having said that, you may wonder why anyone would even WANT to be a parent?  Why put yourself through all of those worries if you don't have to?  Because with those worries come so much joy and so many rewards.  Few things are better than seeing your kids happy and successful.  When they get an A on that test they've studied so hard for.  When they get that big hit to win the game. When they get asked to that dance at school.  When they make good decisions on their own and display the morals and beliefs you have worked so hard to instill in them. When they put on that cap and gown and walk across that stage or when they walk down that aisle.  Invariably, every parent sees some of themselves in their child and when they see that child happy or successful, it makes them feel happy and successful.  And, believe it or not, those moments make all those years of worry worth it.

Thanks for reading.

Same Title, Different Song

As I was scrolling through my playlist the other day, I noticed that I had several songs that had the same title but were completely different songs by completely different artists.  I then started thinking how those songs compared to one another - their similarities, differences and musical styles.  Of course, as I'm apt to do, I decided to make a blog post about this.

Here are the rules:
1.) The songs must have the same title but not the same lyrics.  No remakes or covers allowed!
2.) The songs must have been recorded and included on a album that was released by a record label. No unrecorded songs allowed.
3.) The songs are listed in rough chronological order based on the release date of the album on which the song was initially included.

Most of these songs - but not all of them - are on my playlist.

Here we go...

Song Title: "Dreams"

Artist #1: Fleetwood Mac (1977) - This song was the second single from Fleetwood Mac's monster album, Rumours, an album that has sold more than 20 million copies in the U.S. and more than 40 million copies worldwide.  Interestingly, this song is the only Fleetwood Mac song to top the
Billboard 100 charts and it is, without a doubt, one of their most famous songs.  The "thunder only happens when it's raining" line in the chorus is iconic and I remember by parents listening to it when I was a kid.  Stevie Nicks wrote and sang the song and, like most of the songs on Rumours, it deals with the end of a relationship.  It's really a kiss off to a former lover who the singer opines will regret their decision to end the relationship.  A steady drum beat and bass line propel the song, which is why it's on the playlist I use when going for a run.  The song also includes the great line "players only love you when they're playing." Stevie has a way with words, doesn't she?  TGR Grade: A

Artist #2: Van Halen (1986) - This song was the second single from Van Halen's album 5150, which was their first album after replacing lead singer David Lee Roth with Sammy Hagar.  This song is decidedly more upbeat than the aforementioned song, both musically and lyrically.  Where Fleetwood Mac's "Dreams" is downcast and subdued (fitting its lyrical contact), Van Halen's "Dreams" is a big,
loud arena rocker in which the narrator encourages his significant other to spread her wings, climb higher and chase her dreams.  The song prominently features Eddie Van Halen's synthesizers throughout, as well as his typical searing guitar solo in the middle.  We don't hear Sammy Hagar's vocals until nearly a full minute into the song.  This song is, in my opinion, a perfect snapshot of the so called "Van Hagar" years.  Catchy, anthemic, synth-laden.  It was a Top 40 hit for the band and helped catapult 5150 to more than 6 million in sales. TGR Grade: B+

Artist #3: The Cranberries (1992) - Whereas the previous two songs were hit songs by well established American bands, this one was the debut single of a band from Ireland.  This song is an ethereal tune prominently featuring the recently departed Dolores O'Riordan's distinctive vocals.

Like the Fleetwood Mac song, the lyrics deal with a relationship.  Unlike the Fleetwood Mac song, this one has a more positive outlook at the beginning of a relationship.  I think most people can relate to the sentiment of falling for someone, dreaming of a future together, while also pleading that he or she doesn't break your heart.  While the song didn't manage to crack the Top 40 on the Billboard 100, it did hit the Top 15 on the Alternative Songs Chart in the U.S. and charted in a half dozen countries around the world.  While it wasn't the band's biggest hit (both "Linger" and "Zombie" would exceed this song's popularity), it was their first hit and the song that put them on the map in the world of 1990s alternative music. TGR Grade: B+

Song Title: "Jump"

Artist #1: Van Halen (1984) - This song was the lead single from Van Halen's massive hit album 1984.  Released in the waning days of 1983, it became Van Halen's first and only #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 in February 1984.  It held the top spot for 5 weeks, succeeding Culture Club's "Karma Chameleon", before eventually being knocked out of the top spot by "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins.  In addition to being their biggest hit, the song marked a transition for the band.  Whereas early Van Halen songs were focused on and built around Eddie Van Halen's guitar licks, "Jump" is propelled instead by a rolling synthesizer line, also played by Eddie.  This synth-laden version of Van Halen would foreshadow the band's sound on their next two albums (see the aforementioned "Dreams") and lead, in part, to the departure of David Lee Roth from the band.  Lyrically, the song doesn't have much depth or many lyrics, but it is upbeat and catchy.  The music video, with Roth dancing, jumping and doing slow motion karate kicks, was a huge hit on MTV.  The song and video helped make 1984 the band's biggest hit with more than 10 million copies sold in the U.S. alone.  The album peaked at number 2 for five weeks but was held out of the top spot by Michael Jackson's Thriller. TGR Grade: A-

Artist #2: The Pointer Sisters (1984) - OK, officially this song is known as "Jump (For My Love),"
but it was originally called "Jump" when the album Break Out was released in 1983.  The parenthetical was only added prior to its release as a single in 1984 to distinguish it from the aforementioned Van Halen song of the same name.  This song was released a few months after Van Halen's and it peaked at #3.  Whereas Van Halen's "Jump" is an arena rocker, The Pointer Sisters' is an electro-dance tune typical of their sound and much of the R&B and pop music of the early to mid 1980s.  "Jump" is the second in a string of four Top 10 hits for the group during 1984 and those songs helped make Break Out their biggest album, going triple platinum.  Whereas Van Halen's song still receives plenty of airplay on '80s and classic rock stations, this song is one of those hits that didn't age quite as well and has faded away over the past three decades.  TGR Grade: C

Artist #3: Kriss Kross (1992) - Ahhh.....the early 1990s.  That period when hair bands were fading into oblivion and being replaced by grunge and alternative rock and when fun (and funny) rap songs

were being replaced by gangster rap.  Into this time of transition came this song, which was the debut single for Kriss Kross.  Kriss Kross was the moniker of two pre-pubescent rappers whose claim to fame (besides this song) were wearing their clothes backwards and calling themselves "Mac Daddy" and "Daddy Mac," which seems woefully inappropriate considering that these guys didn't even have hair on their junk when this song came out.  For some inexplicable reason, this song was a massive hit, topping the charts for 8 weeks.  In fact, I'm ashamed to admit that this was the #1 song in the country when I graduated from high school in early June 1992.  It's even harder to believe that it was a hit when it's two tweens rapping about how "fly," "lovable, huggable" they are and that virtually every line in the song contains the words "kriss," "kross," "daddy," "mac," and "jump." Seriously, those five words appear a combined total of 132 times. 132 times in a 3 minute, 17 second long song!  This was the duo's only #1 hit song, which I'm sure isn't a surprise to anyone when you consider everything I just said about it. TGR Grade: D


Song Title: "Heaven"

Artist #1: Bryan Adams (1985) - This song was actually recorded in 1983 and almost wasn't included on Adams's giant 1984 album Reckless.  Both Adams and his producer thought the sound was "too light" and not a good fit amongst rockers like "Summer of '69", "Somebody" and "Run to

You." However, Adams changed his mind at the last minute and included it.  It was a smart move, as the song got all the way to #11 on the charts, one of six Top 20 hits from the album, which went on to sell more than 5 million copies in the U.S. and 12 million copies worldwide.  Adams had been touring with and opening for Journey and, as such, the song is heavily inspired by that band's power ballads like "Faithfully." The song's lyrics are about finding that special someone and how, when you are with that person, it's akin to being in heaven.  It's not the most unique sentiment, but with Adams's raspy, heartfelt vocals, it works.  These days, this song doesn't receive the airplay of "Summer of '69," the single released right after this song, but it's still a good song and a precursor to the many ballads that Adams struck big with in the early 1990s. TGR Grade: B+

Artist #2: Warrant (1989) - If you were a so called "hair band" in the late '80s, it was almost a requirement that you record a power ballad.  Often, those power ballads became the band's biggest hit.  Such is the case with this song.  This song, the second single from the band's debut album, was

Warrant's biggest hit, peaking at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.  It stayed at #2 for two weeks, held out of the top spot by, of all songs, "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" by Milli Vanilli.  The general theme of the song is similar to the aforementioned Bryan Adams song: equating heaven with being with the person you love.  However, this song is a little more melancholy, looking back at faded photographs and walking alone down a boulevard late at night, making seem as if the singer has lost his love but is still hanging on and hoping that she will come back ("I don't know what to do but I'm never giving up on you.") Musically, this is a perfect example of the hair band power ballad: acoustic guitar and softer verses with electric guitars and a harder rocking chorus.  Fortunately, this power ballad isn't quite as saccharine as some of the power ballads released by the band's contemporaries and, as such, it has aged better some of the other songs.  TGR Grade: B

Artist #3: Better Than Ezra (1995) - Many of you may have never even heard of this song.  It's an album track from the band's major label debut album, Deluxe, which produced hit songs like "Good"

and "In The Blood."  I love this album - it's one of my favorites of all time.  Every song on it is good and, 20+ years later, I know every lyric of every song.  Having said that, I have no idea what this song is about.  Unlike the previous two songs, this one is not about being with the one you love.  Much of it is, quite frankly, sentence fragments that really have little to no meaning.  It does, however, feature this lyric which I really like: "heretics and hypocrites/wear the same face through the years/of telling lies and laying blame/damn the fire to feed the flame"  The song has a slower tempo than most of the songs on the album and features a nice bass line from Tom Drummond who co-wrote the song with the band's guitarist, lead singer and primary songwriter Kevin Griffin.  This isn't one of the band's best songs, but I still like it. TGR Grade: B


Song Title: "Alive"

Artist #1: Pearl Jam (1991) - This is the debut single from one of the most beloved American rock bands of the last 50 years. It helped launch the so-called grunge movement and "Seattle sound"
that came to define the musical landscape of the 1990s.  The album on which this song appeared, Ten, has sold more than 10 million copies in the U.S.  While fellow Seattle rock legends Nirvana are typically credited with ushering in the era of grunge, Ten was actually released a month before that band's iconic Nevermind.  Closing in on 30 years after its initial release, this song remains one of the most popular songs in Pearl Jam's impressive canon.  It's not hard to understand why.  It's a rocker with a big, arena-ready chorus that features one of the great guitar solos of all time in the coda.  In fact, the solo, played by Mike McCready, was ranked among the 50 greatest guitar solos of all time by Guitar World and Total Guitar. While the music and melody are big, loud and, at first listen, uplifting or inspirational, the lyrics are in fact decidedly dark.  They tell the story of a young man whose mother has just informed him that the man he thought was his father isn't, in fact, his father and that his real father is dead.  In a sense, those serious lyrics help explain, in a nutshell, the shift in rock from the late 1980s to rock in the early 1990s.  While the party hard, hair bands of the late '80s talked about just having "a good time" and staying "up all night," the grunge bands of the early '90s had lyrics dealing with depression and broken families and other dark subjects.  Pearl Jam has recorded a lot of great music over the past 30 years, but this song remains one of their best and it's one of my all time favorites. TGR Grade: A

  

Artist #2: Edwin McCain (1995) - While Pearl Jam's "Alive" was a big hit, this song - which was the first song on McCain's major label debut album, Honor Among Thieves, was never released as a single.  While McCain would go on to have some success in the latter '90s with ballads like "I'll Be," this song is a great example of the funky, acoustic, singer-songwriter vibe that dominated his first few

albums.  It's both a love letter to New Orleans and the power that music can have on the human spirit.  The first verse, for example, deals with a record store owner on St. Charles Street whose father and wife recently passed away but who is still finding the strength to go on, partly because of music.  The bridge also contains the great line "you know life's a roller coaster, it ain't got no safety bar."  So while the music in this song is completely different from Pearl Jam's song of the same name (Edwin's has acoustic guitar and a wind controller rather than Pearl Jam's big guitars), there are some lyrical similarities.  In both songs, people have faced difficult circumstances and are finding a way to persevere and keep going. 
TGR Grade: A-


Song Title: "True"

Artist #1: Spandau Ballet (1983) - This song is a great example of the New Wave music that dominated the radio airwaves in the early to mid 1980s. While Spandau Ballet had a lot of success in the UK during the '80s, this song was their only hit US hit, where it hit #4 in 1983.  Typical of the

New Wave music of the time, it features prominent synthesizers and electronic drums.  Unlike much of the music at the time, it shows some literary and cultural awareness, with lyrics mentioning Marvin Gaye and adapting lines from Nabokov's  Lolita.  The song ins supposedly about a platonic relationship but who knows because the song is primarily just known for its music and the oft repeated "Uh huh huh HUH huh. I know this much is true" line.  While the song was enormously popular worldwide, it has also frequently appeared on "Worst Songs of All Time" lists.  This likely largely to do the repetitive nature of the song, which is particularly noticeable on the album version, which drags on for 6 and a half minutes.  The song gained a second wind, of sorts, in the 1990s when it was sampled by PM Dawn for their hit song "Set Adrift on Memory Bliss" in 1991 and when Steve Buscemi famously covered it in an uncredited cameo as a cheesy wedding singer in Adam Sandler's hit 1998 film "The Wedding Singer." It was also featured prominently in an ad for the Chevy Malibu in 2012. TGR Grade: B-

Artist #2: George Strait (1998) - The first country entry on the list has to come from none other than King George.  While he is arguably the most successful country music artist of all time with more than 50 #1 hits under his belt, this isn't one of those #1s.  This song peaked at #2 in 1998 in the U.S., though it did top the charts in Canada.  While the Spandau Ballet song is kinda sorta maybe about love, this song (written by Marv Green and Jeff Stevens) is unambiguously about love.  But whereas

most country love songs are slow ballads, this song is an upbeat, up-tempo number.  While Strait has always stuck to his country roots and avoided the pop crossover crap that has plagued country music over the past decade (God bless him for that), this song is about as close to be big arena rocker as he gets.  While it features steel guitar and fiddle, it is primarily driven by an electric guitar hook.  The lyrics profess his love and compare it to the sun coming up in the morning, a baby's smile, a mountain river and rain. From that standpoint, using outdoor metaphors to convey the power of his love, it bears some similarities to Randy Travis's smash hit "Deeper Than The Holler" from a decade before.  In the hands of a lesser singer, this song might be a little too treacle, but Strait's voice and delivery turn it into something special.  While this isn't one of my favorite George Strait songs, it's still a lot better than most of the garbage you can find on country radio these days.  TGR Grade: B+


Song Title: "Shout"

Artist #1: The Isley Brothers (1959) - Of all of the hit songs that came out of the first two decades of rock 'n roll, this is one of the most enduring.  How many other nearly 60 year old songs still get played regularly at sporting events, dances and wedding receptions?  Interestingly, the song never even cracked the Top 40.  However, in spite of its lack of chart success, it is unquestionably an
enormous hit, as evidenced by the aforementioned frequency at which it is still played and the fact that it was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 1999 and listed as #118 on Rolling Stone's list of "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time."  Though it was originally written and recorded by The Isley Brothers in 1959, it has been covered countless times by other music legends such as The Beatles, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, and - most famously - by Otis Day and the Knights.  Their version was featured in the 1978 comedy classic National Lampoon's Animal House, which re-introduced the song to a whole new generation of music lovers and party animals.  The song is incredibly simple but also incredibly catchy.  It's a call and response with the lead singer saying different phrases, to which the rest of the band or backing singers reply "Shout".  However, it's the dance and the "little bit softer now" that really gave the song its longevity, some of which can invariably be linked to Bluto and the gang dancing to it at the toga party in Animal House.  The song is still a favorite nearly 60 years after it's initial release and there's no reason to believe that will change in the next 60 years. TGR Grade: A

Artist #2: Tears for Fears (1985) - Tears for Fears' sophomore album Songs From The Big Chair was one of the biggest hit albums of 1985.  It sold more than 5 million copies in the U.S. and more than 7 million copies worldwide.  The album produced 3 top 5 hits, including this song, which was the band's first #1 single.  Whereas The Isley Brothers' "Shout" is a fun party song, Tears for Fears' 

"Shout" is a protest anthem of sorts, encouraging people to raise their voices against things they don't agree with.  Musically, the song is another good example of pop music in the mid 1980s, with synthesizers, shimmering guitars and a drum machine.  The song, however, has an interesting structure.  Instead the typical verse-chorus-verse-chorus set up, the song starts with the chorus twice followed be a few verses, another chorus, another verse, and then the chorus several more times.  It gets a little repetitive after a while.  Overall, it's a good song and it's often considered their signature song, though I'd put several of their later songs, namely "Everybody Wants to Rule the World," "Head Over Heels" and "Sowing the Seeds of Love," above this song.  TGR Grade: B

There you have it - a unique look at some different songs that have the same name but completely different styles and stories.  I hope you enjoyed it. There are some other song titles for which I could do this, but I'll save those for a future blog post. 

As always, thanks for reading!

Eric Greitens - Just Another Corrupt Politician

One of the themes of the 2016 election cycle was the rise of "outsider" candidates.  This was obviously most prominent on the national landscape in the unlikely rise of real estate mogul/reality star/walking punch line/political novice Donald Trump from joke to unlikely nominee to president.  However, something somewhat similar took place in the gubernatorial race in Missouri which was won by political newcomer Eric Greitens.  Like Trump, he had no political experience but some success in the business world, a fact that both candidates trumpeted while railing against so called "career politicians" while on the campaign trail.  He even had experience teaching business ethics classes at the University of Missouri.  Like Trump, Greitens rode outsider credentials to an electoral victory over a Democratic opponent that was branded a political insider.

On paper, it's easy to see why Greitens was an attractive candidate.  Consider some of his pre-politics accomplishments:

1.) Navy SEAL
2.) Rhodes Scholar
3.) Founder of a successful charitable foundation supporting veterans
4.) Successful author and public speaker

He was a clean cut American hero. His political profile was almost too good to be true.  And, as is usually the case, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

After all, when you strip back the shiny veneer, Greitens is nothing more than another corrupt, sleazy politician.  Consider that, prior to 2015, Greitens identified as a Democrat.  The Missouri Democratic Party even tried to coax him into a run for Senate in 2010.  Greitens declined.  However, he's undeniably a smart guy and he no doubt noted the steadily rightward lean of the Show-Me State over the past 10 or 15 years.  Missouri used to be political bellwether that swung back and forth on the political spectrum and successfully voted for the winning president in almost every election over a 50 year period.  Over the past decade, however, the state has become exceedingly more red.  I'm willing to bet that Greitens took note of that trend and, in 2015, prior to announcing his candidacy for governor, he switched from a Democrat to a Republican.

While on the campaign trail, he railed against the "culture of corruption" in Jefferson City.  He painted himself as the white knight outsider who was untainted by the lobbyists and back scratchers at the Capitol - the guy who could ride in and clean up things.  However, while his speeches spoke of ethics and transparency, his campaign was supported primarily by so called "dark money" donors from outside of the state.  Despite repeated requests, he refused to disclose the source of these funds.  So, he preached ethics and transparency while raking in millions of donations from nameless, faceless, secret supporters.

His campaign ads famously had him assembling an assault-style rifle while blindfolded and then blowing up stuff.  It had nothing to do with his ability to govern or lead, but rather was a blatant attempt to appeal to the rural, gun-loving voters of the state.

I saw his antics for what they were - calculated political stunts from a guy who was clearly not the upstanding, ethical bastion he portrayed.  Unfortunately, a majority of Missouri voters either fell for the charade or just automatically checked the box of the candidate with the "(R)" after his name.  (Interestingly enough, the opponent he defeated in the general election, Chris Koster, was a Republican-turned-Democrat.)  As a result, Mr. Too-Good-to-be-True won the election and became governor.

As with most things that are too good to be true, inevitably the curtain gets pulled back and the truth gets exposed.  After being sworn in as governor, Greitens was fined (see if you can spot the irony here, given his railing against a lack of ethics and corruption) by the Missouri Ethics Commission for violating state campaign ethics rules regarding campaign disclosures.  Greitens did not contest the fine.  Since taking the highest office in the state, Greitens has been unusually inaccessible to the media, to the point where he deploys security staffers to block reporters from getting close to him.  I understand that many Republicans view the media as being in the bag for Democrats and thus loathe them, but as the supposed leader of the state, you cannot abdicate your responsibility to answer questions and communicate with the citizens via press conferences, interviews, etc.

In December, Greitens and some senior members of his staff were accused by government transparency advocates of subverting Missouri's open records laws by using Confide, a messaging app that erases texts after they have been read, on their personal phones.  Once again, a person who campaigned on transparency and a lack of corruption is conducting business via secretive means that allow him to skirt that very transparency.

However, the biggest bomb that has dropped about Mr. Too-Good-to-be-True is the accusation and subsequent admission that Greitens had an extra-marital affair with his hair stylist in 2015.  There are additional allegations that Greitens took pictures of his mistress while she was naked and blindfolded and that he threatened to use the pictures for blackmail purposes.  While Greitens has denied the photos and the blackmail accusations, he has confirmed the affair.  A few points worth mentioning:

1.) A guy whose campaign spoke of his family values and being a proud husband and father cheated on his wife with his hair stylist while he wife was either pregnant or caring for a newborn.
2.) He may or may not have taken revenge porn pictures of the mistress.
3.) He actually has a hair stylist!  What military guy has a hair stylist? C'mon - just go to Fantastic Sam's.  It's a lot cheaper - especially with a coupon - and they wash your hair for free!  (I categorically deny any kickbacks from Fantastic Sam's for the preceding endorsement.)

Recently, Greitens was indicted by a grand jury, arrested and charged with a felony as a result of these allegations. Discount the allegations as politically motivated if you wish.  There are some sketchy items about this whole deal and, quite frankly, I don't care what people do on their own time or in their own bedrooms.  However, there's no denying that Greitens cheated on his wife, which is the sort of thing that he never disclosed during the campaign while, once again, preaching transparency, honesty and openness.  There are now discussions in Jefferson City about initiating impeachment hearings against Greitens.

Clearly, Greitens had big plans for his political career (the guy reserved the greitensforpresident.com URL several years ago, for crying out loud) and he seemingly had everything he needed to achieve that.  Until the charade fell apart and Greitens was exposed as a fraud and a charalatan - a corrupt, run-of-the-mill sleazebag politician who is as dirty and hypocritical as the "career politicians" from which he tried to distinguish himself.

If I were designing an attack ad against Greitens, the tagline would be "Eric Greitens said he was different, but he's just another corrupt politician."  I just hope that, next time around, the voters in our fair state don't fall for the shiny, new object but instead stay true to our motto and force the candidate to show us that they really are different.

Thanks for reading!

Brutally Honest Job Descriptions

Longtime readers of this blog know that I work in Human Resources.  If you haven't already, I recommend you read my previous "HR Follies" blog posts if you're looking for a good laugh.  The world of Human Resources encompasses many facets, from recruiting and talent acquisition to compensation to benefits to employee relations.  Something else that typically falls in HR?  Job descriptions.  Job descriptions are one of those necessary evils: something that is important but that no one really wants to do; a task that is generally dreaded.  In my life as an HR professional, I have written or co-written literally dozens of job descriptions.  This got me thinking about what it would be like to write job descriptions for some public jobs that may have never had a job description written for them before.

Job Title: NHL Goaltender
Salary:  $650,000 (minimum) to several million (maximum)
Work Location: Arenas and rinks across North America
Job Summary: Your opponent will fire a hard, frozen, rubber rock at a goal, sometimes in excess of 100 miles per hour.  Your job is to jump in front of those frozen rocks and allow them to hit you repeatedly. While wearing 20 pounds worth of equipment. On ice.  When you mess up or make a mistake on your job, loud horns or sirens will go off, red lights come on and people chant your name in a derogatory manner. Sane people need not apply.

Job Title: Custodian
Salary: Minimum wage or maybe a little above
Work Location: Buildings all over
Job Summary: Cleaning walls, floors, desks and bathrooms.  Empty wastebaskets and take out trash. Clean sinks and toilets.  Have the misfortune to clean up all of the disgusting things left behind by your fellow human beings, including spoiled food, urine, feces and other bodily fluids.  Must be comfortable dealing with nasty smells on a daily basis, while receiving meager pay and benefits.

Job Title: Center (football)
Salary: $465,000 (minimum) to several million (maximum)
Work Location: Stadiums across the United States
Job Summary: Bend over a football while another man puts his hands between your legs while yelling at you.  When that man yells the magic word, you shove the football back between your legs and give it to him and then to try to keep a bunch of enormous, angry men from grabbing and throwing him to the ground.

Job Title: United States Representative
Salary: $174,000
Work Location: Washington, DC
Job Summary: Enjoy lots of perks, such as copious amounts of time off, free meals, tickets and flights, while spouting lots of nonsense and doing very little actual work.  At least half of the country will despise you and you have to reapply for your job every two years, but the likelihood of you getting re-hired is roughly 90%.

Job Title: United States Senator
Salary: $174,000
Work Location: Washington, DC
Job Summary: See United States Representative job summary, but change "two years" to "six years".

Job Title: Teacher
Salary: More than some people think but less than it should be
Work Location: Elementary schools, middle schools and high schools all over the country
Job Summary: Impart knowledge to children, some of whom will eagerly participate and others of whom could not care less.  Benefits include summers off, excellent benefits including a terrific retirement plan, and the reward of knowing that you are making a difference in the lives of children.  Must be able to do your job while dealing with large amounts of germs, helicopter parents and absentee parents, as well as bureaucrats and politicians who have never set foot in a classroom as an adult and have no clue what they are taking about.

The Puppy Chronicles, Part 4

It's been a while since I've written about our puppy, Mia, so I thought I'd take this chance to give you an update about her.  Mia is now 10 months old and she is actually bigger than Yadi, her big brother who is now 4.

Mia has settled into her role as the annoying little sister. You know how it goes - the little sister loves to meddle in the big brother's business.  If Yadi is playing with a toy, Mia will come up and take it away from him.  Most of the time, Yadi lets her, but on occasion, he'll fight back.  In the mornings, he's the sullen, grumpy teenager and she's the perky kid sister.  She runs up to him and wants to play but he'll growl and snap at her, basically saying "Back off, kid.  I just woke up."

For the most part, they get along, often just maintaining their distance.  Sometimes, they even act like they like each other and snuggle.

But, one of our favorite things they do is fight or wrestle.  I call it the "Ultimate Shih Tzu Fighting Championships," while my son refers to it as "Doggo Wrestling." Here's an example of what I mean:

 

 

Potty training has been a challenge - lots of poop and pee accidents - but she's made good progress in the past few weeks and the accidents are now few and far between.

Mia is definitely a puppy - always excited about something and always ready to play.  It can be a little exhausting at times, but it's probably been good for Yadi, too.  He's gotten more exercise these last 6 months just by having to deal with her.

Until I have more puppy adventures to report, thanks for reading!