Eric Greitens - Just Another Corrupt Politician

One of the themes of the 2016 election cycle was the rise of "outsider" candidates.  This was obviously most prominent on the national landscape in the unlikely rise of real estate mogul/reality star/walking punch line/political novice Donald Trump from joke to unlikely nominee to president.  However, something somewhat similar took place in the gubernatorial race in Missouri which was won by political newcomer Eric Greitens.  Like Trump, he had no political experience but some success in the business world, a fact that both candidates trumpeted while railing against so called "career politicians" while on the campaign trail.  He even had experience teaching business ethics classes at the University of Missouri.  Like Trump, Greitens rode outsider credentials to an electoral victory over a Democratic opponent that was branded a political insider.

On paper, it's easy to see why Greitens was an attractive candidate.  Consider some of his pre-politics accomplishments:

1.) Navy SEAL
2.) Rhodes Scholar
3.) Founder of a successful charitable foundation supporting veterans
4.) Successful author and public speaker

He was a clean cut American hero. His political profile was almost too good to be true.  And, as is usually the case, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

After all, when you strip back the shiny veneer, Greitens is nothing more than another corrupt, sleazy politician.  Consider that, prior to 2015, Greitens identified as a Democrat.  The Missouri Democratic Party even tried to coax him into a run for Senate in 2010.  Greitens declined.  However, he's undeniably a smart guy and he no doubt noted the steadily rightward lean of the Show-Me State over the past 10 or 15 years.  Missouri used to be political bellwether that swung back and forth on the political spectrum and successfully voted for the winning president in almost every election over a 50 year period.  Over the past decade, however, the state has become exceedingly more red.  I'm willing to bet that Greitens took note of that trend and, in 2015, prior to announcing his candidacy for governor, he switched from a Democrat to a Republican.

While on the campaign trail, he railed against the "culture of corruption" in Jefferson City.  He painted himself as the white knight outsider who was untainted by the lobbyists and back scratchers at the Capitol - the guy who could ride in and clean up things.  However, while his speeches spoke of ethics and transparency, his campaign was supported primarily by so called "dark money" donors from outside of the state.  Despite repeated requests, he refused to disclose the source of these funds.  So, he preached ethics and transparency while raking in millions of donations from nameless, faceless, secret supporters.

His campaign ads famously had him assembling an assault-style rifle while blindfolded and then blowing up stuff.  It had nothing to do with his ability to govern or lead, but rather was a blatant attempt to appeal to the rural, gun-loving voters of the state.

I saw his antics for what they were - calculated political stunts from a guy who was clearly not the upstanding, ethical bastion he portrayed.  Unfortunately, a majority of Missouri voters either fell for the charade or just automatically checked the box of the candidate with the "(R)" after his name.  (Interestingly enough, the opponent he defeated in the general election, Chris Koster, was a Republican-turned-Democrat.)  As a result, Mr. Too-Good-to-be-True won the election and became governor.

As with most things that are too good to be true, inevitably the curtain gets pulled back and the truth gets exposed.  After being sworn in as governor, Greitens was fined (see if you can spot the irony here, given his railing against a lack of ethics and corruption) by the Missouri Ethics Commission for violating state campaign ethics rules regarding campaign disclosures.  Greitens did not contest the fine.  Since taking the highest office in the state, Greitens has been unusually inaccessible to the media, to the point where he deploys security staffers to block reporters from getting close to him.  I understand that many Republicans view the media as being in the bag for Democrats and thus loathe them, but as the supposed leader of the state, you cannot abdicate your responsibility to answer questions and communicate with the citizens via press conferences, interviews, etc.

In December, Greitens and some senior members of his staff were accused by government transparency advocates of subverting Missouri's open records laws by using Confide, a messaging app that erases texts after they have been read, on their personal phones.  Once again, a person who campaigned on transparency and a lack of corruption is conducting business via secretive means that allow him to skirt that very transparency.

However, the biggest bomb that has dropped about Mr. Too-Good-to-be-True is the accusation and subsequent admission that Greitens had an extra-marital affair with his hair stylist in 2015.  There are additional allegations that Greitens took pictures of his mistress while she was naked and blindfolded and that he threatened to use the pictures for blackmail purposes.  While Greitens has denied the photos and the blackmail accusations, he has confirmed the affair.  A few points worth mentioning:

1.) A guy whose campaign spoke of his family values and being a proud husband and father cheated on his wife with his hair stylist while he wife was either pregnant or caring for a newborn.
2.) He may or may not have taken revenge porn pictures of the mistress.
3.) He actually has a hair stylist!  What military guy has a hair stylist? C'mon - just go to Fantastic Sam's.  It's a lot cheaper - especially with a coupon - and they wash your hair for free!  (I categorically deny any kickbacks from Fantastic Sam's for the preceding endorsement.)

Recently, Greitens was indicted by a grand jury, arrested and charged with a felony as a result of these allegations. Discount the allegations as politically motivated if you wish.  There are some sketchy items about this whole deal and, quite frankly, I don't care what people do on their own time or in their own bedrooms.  However, there's no denying that Greitens cheated on his wife, which is the sort of thing that he never disclosed during the campaign while, once again, preaching transparency, honesty and openness.  There are now discussions in Jefferson City about initiating impeachment hearings against Greitens.

Clearly, Greitens had big plans for his political career (the guy reserved the greitensforpresident.com URL several years ago, for crying out loud) and he seemingly had everything he needed to achieve that.  Until the charade fell apart and Greitens was exposed as a fraud and a charalatan - a corrupt, run-of-the-mill sleazebag politician who is as dirty and hypocritical as the "career politicians" from which he tried to distinguish himself.

If I were designing an attack ad against Greitens, the tagline would be "Eric Greitens said he was different, but he's just another corrupt politician."  I just hope that, next time around, the voters in our fair state don't fall for the shiny, new object but instead stay true to our motto and force the candidate to show us that they really are different.

Thanks for reading!

Brutally Honest Job Descriptions

Longtime readers of this blog know that I work in Human Resources.  If you haven't already, I recommend you read my previous "HR Follies" blog posts if you're looking for a good laugh.  The world of Human Resources encompasses many facets, from recruiting and talent acquisition to compensation to benefits to employee relations.  Something else that typically falls in HR?  Job descriptions.  Job descriptions are one of those necessary evils: something that is important but that no one really wants to do; a task that is generally dreaded.  In my life as an HR professional, I have written or co-written literally dozens of job descriptions.  This got me thinking about what it would be like to write job descriptions for some public jobs that may have never had a job description written for them before.

Job Title: NHL Goaltender
Salary:  $650,000 (minimum) to several million (maximum)
Work Location: Arenas and rinks across North America
Job Summary: Your opponent will fire a hard, frozen, rubber rock at a goal, sometimes in excess of 100 miles per hour.  Your job is to jump in front of those frozen rocks and allow them to hit you repeatedly. While wearing 20 pounds worth of equipment. On ice.  When you mess up or make a mistake on your job, loud horns or sirens will go off, red lights come on and people chant your name in a derogatory manner. Sane people need not apply.

Job Title: Custodian
Salary: Minimum wage or maybe a little above
Work Location: Buildings all over
Job Summary: Cleaning walls, floors, desks and bathrooms.  Empty wastebaskets and take out trash. Clean sinks and toilets.  Have the misfortune to clean up all of the disgusting things left behind by your fellow human beings, including spoiled food, urine, feces and other bodily fluids.  Must be comfortable dealing with nasty smells on a daily basis, while receiving meager pay and benefits.

Job Title: Center (football)
Salary: $465,000 (minimum) to several million (maximum)
Work Location: Stadiums across the United States
Job Summary: Bend over a football while another man puts his hands between your legs while yelling at you.  When that man yells the magic word, you shove the football back between your legs and give it to him and then to try to keep a bunch of enormous, angry men from grabbing and throwing him to the ground.

Job Title: United States Representative
Salary: $174,000
Work Location: Washington, DC
Job Summary: Enjoy lots of perks, such as copious amounts of time off, free meals, tickets and flights, while spouting lots of nonsense and doing very little actual work.  At least half of the country will despise you and you have to reapply for your job every two years, but the likelihood of you getting re-hired is roughly 90%.

Job Title: United States Senator
Salary: $174,000
Work Location: Washington, DC
Job Summary: See United States Representative job summary, but change "two years" to "six years".

Job Title: Teacher
Salary: More than some people think but less than it should be
Work Location: Elementary schools, middle schools and high schools all over the country
Job Summary: Impart knowledge to children, some of whom will eagerly participate and others of whom could not care less.  Benefits include summers off, excellent benefits including a terrific retirement plan, and the reward of knowing that you are making a difference in the lives of children.  Must be able to do your job while dealing with large amounts of germs, helicopter parents and absentee parents, as well as bureaucrats and politicians who have never set foot in a classroom as an adult and have no clue what they are taking about.

The Puppy Chronicles, Part 4

It's been a while since I've written about our puppy, Mia, so I thought I'd take this chance to give you an update about her.  Mia is now 10 months old and she is actually bigger than Yadi, her big brother who is now 4.

Mia has settled into her role as the annoying little sister. You know how it goes - the little sister loves to meddle in the big brother's business.  If Yadi is playing with a toy, Mia will come up and take it away from him.  Most of the time, Yadi lets her, but on occasion, he'll fight back.  In the mornings, he's the sullen, grumpy teenager and she's the perky kid sister.  She runs up to him and wants to play but he'll growl and snap at her, basically saying "Back off, kid.  I just woke up."

For the most part, they get along, often just maintaining their distance.  Sometimes, they even act like they like each other and snuggle.

But, one of our favorite things they do is fight or wrestle.  I call it the "Ultimate Shih Tzu Fighting Championships," while my son refers to it as "Doggo Wrestling." Here's an example of what I mean:

 

 

Potty training has been a challenge - lots of poop and pee accidents - but she's made good progress in the past few weeks and the accidents are now few and far between.

Mia is definitely a puppy - always excited about something and always ready to play.  It can be a little exhausting at times, but it's probably been good for Yadi, too.  He's gotten more exercise these last 6 months just by having to deal with her.

Until I have more puppy adventures to report, thanks for reading!