"The Dukes of Hazzard" - Where do I begin? The Duke Boys drove a car named after a Confederate general that featured the Confederate battle flag on the roof and whose horn played a song that came out of the blackface minstrelsy of the mid 1800s South. Given the recent uproar regarding Confederate statutes, the car alone would be enough to sink the idea for the show in modern times. Then there is also a main character who is named after the Confederate president (J.D. "Boss" Hogg). Beyond that, the show itself would never pass the muster of the studio bosses today. I loved the show as a kid, but it's really pretty bad. Every episode is basically the same thing. You could almost play a drinking game with the elements that you knew were going to pop up on the show at some point each week:
- Boss Hogg comes up with some crooked scheme that goes sideways
- The Duke Boys invariably get caught up in said scheme and thrown in jail
- The Duke Boys are able to get out of jail because Roscoe is a bumbling idiot or because Daisy distracted Enos by flirting with him.
- Gratuitous shots of Daisy Duke's derriere in her namesake short shorts
- Gratuitous shots of cars jumping through the air
- One of the Duke boys slides across the hood of the car
- Roscoe calls his deputy a dipstick
- The action stops at a cliffhanger moment while Waylon Jennings asks some rhetorical questions before they go to commercial break
"Tom & Jerry" - This may well be my favorite cartoon of all time. It was genius! But can you imagine someone pitching it today? First of all, it's extremely violent. Virtually every episode features the two titular characters trying to annihilate one another. There are decapitations, animals sliced in half, Tom's tail stuffed into a hot waffle iron. All manner of violence. Second, there is essentially no dialogue. Instead, the cat and mouse antics (pun intended) are set to classical music. Can you imagine that even being considered as an option today? Finally, the one character who does regularly speak on the show is "Mammy Two Shoes," who is a total caricature of an African American housekeeper. She speaks in poor English and is not presented in a very positive light, frequently beating Tom with a broom. A violent cartoon with classical music, no dialogue and an outdated stereotype of African American females. There is NO way this show gets the green light in 2017.
"The Lone Ranger" - A wildly popular western TV series from the 1950s, it also portrays Tonto, the title character's Native American sidekick, as being....well, not so bright. Consider the character's name. "Tonto" in Spanish translates as "moron" or "fool." Also, Tonto speaks in a pidgin, uttering phrases such as "Him say man ride over ridge with horse" or "That right Kemo Sabe." Can you imagine a TV series that portrays a minority in that manner ever getting made today? However, you have to give credit to the creators in that Tonto was at least portrayed by someone who was a Native, rather than some white guy dressed up like a Native.
"Bosom Buddies" - Two single guys cross dress and pretend to be women just so that they can live in an all female apartment building because it is cheaper. It is essentially using people cross dressing for laughs. Can you imagine the uproar something like that would cause today? There would be sponsor boycotts and letter writing campaigns and who knows what else. It's amazing to think that this was one of the first starring roles for Tom Hanks, one of the most successful actors of all time.
I'm sure there are other shows that would meet this criteria, but these were four that immediately came to mind. What others would you put forth as suggestions? What shows have I missed? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for reading!
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