In Memory of a Musical Genius - The Best of Brian Wilson

The Beach Boys were, unequivocally, one of the best known and most successful bands of the 1960s.  In a time when rock and popular music became dominated by British Invasion bands like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and The Who (among many others), The Beach Boys and their sunny music managed to keep America on the charts.  Between 1963 and 1966, the band had 19 Top 20 hits, 13 of which made it into the Top 10, 8 of which made it into the Top 5 and 3 of which hit #1.  The band was known for its songs about surfing and cars and became emblematic of the popular vision of Southern California and the so-called “California sound.”

Similar to other groups from the 1960s, their early material was light and focused on young people, surfing, cars and girls.  However, as the 1960s progressed and moved toward being more experimental and progressive, so did the band’s music.

The driving force behind The Beach Boys was Brian Wilson.  He was one of their primary lead vocalists (known for his falsetto vocals) and the creative mind that wrote and produced most of the band’s output.  He coordinated and arranged the band’s trademark vocal arrangements and was at the forefront of the record producers who used the studio as an instrument unto itself.  His impact on popular music from the 1960s cannot be overstated. Sadly, drug use and mental illness negatively impacted him in the late 1960s and into the 1970s, which likewise resulted in the declining fortunes of the band.  In his later years, he managed to conquer his personal demons and make additional music.

As most of you probably know, Brian Wilson recently passed away at the age of 82, just days away from his 83^rd birthday.  In his memory, I present my list of Brian Wilson’s (and, by extension, The Beach Boys) best songs.

10. “Help Me, Rhonda” (1965) – Written primarily by Wilson with some lyrical assistance from Mike Love, the song was a #1 smash, the band’s second. The chorus with the repetitions of “Help me, Rhonda, help help me, Rhonda” is instantly recognizable.  It was also a #1 hit in Canada and made it into the Top 5 in Sweden.

9. “Fun, Fun, Fun” (1964) – One of the band’s songs that touches the California ethos of hot-rods and hamburger stands.  The song was inspired by an actual incident involving the daughter of a manager of a radio station in Utah. It peaked at #5 on the charts in the U.S., while also cracking the Top 10 in Canada, Australia and New Zealand. “And she’ll have fun, fun, fun ‘til her daddy takes the t-bird away…”

8. “I Get Around” (1964) – Another hot-rod and girls song, it is primarily focused on the doo-wop vocals with Wilson’s voice soaring over those of his band mates. It was the band’s first #1 hit in the U.S. and it also topped the charts in Canada while reaching the Top 10 in the UK and New Zealand.  “Round round get around, I get around…”

7. “Don’t Worry Baby” (1964) – This one was originally released as the B-side of “I Get Around.”  While it also deals with car racing, it deals with it from a different angle. Instead of bragging about his car or his prowess as a driver, it instead has the protagonist worrying that he has taken things too far and then being reassured by his girlfriend – “Don’t worry, baby.” Wilson wrote the song with Roger Christian and the former’s lead vocal is one of his most acclaimed and praised in the entire Beach Boys canon.  In a 2011 interview, Wilson himself cited it as the best vocal he has ever done. It only peaked at #24 in the U.S. but it has grown to be considered one of the band’s (and Brian Wilson’s) finest songs.

6. “Surfin’ U.S.A.” (1963) – The Beach Boys’ first Top 10 hit, this song peaked at #3 in the U.S, while also charting in Canada, Japan and the UK. It is a rewritten version of Chuck Berry’s “Sweet Little Sixteen” with new lyrics that were evoked the stereotypical surfing culture of California. Wilson’s lyrics focus on surfing and include a list of 15 surfing spots, most of which are in the band’s native Southern California. It remains one of the band’s and Wilson’s most well-known songs. “If everybody had an ocean, across the U.S.A…”

5. “Surfer Girl” (1963) – This was the first song on which Brian Wilson was credited as the producer.  Wilson cited it as one of the first song he ever wrote. It is a sweet plea to be loved by the titular character.  It is much slower and more of a ballad than most of band’s early work, which helped this song stand out, as did the doo-wop vocals and Wilson’s own soaring lead vocal. It peaked at #7 in the U.S., while actually cracking the Top 5 in Canada and New Zealand.

4. “California Girls” (1965) – One of the band’s most well-known songs, Wilson himself cites it as his favorite song The Beach Boys ever did.  Its iconic first verse extolls the virtues of the girls in various parts of the U.S. (East Coast girls are hip, Southern girls have great accents, Midwest farmer’s daughter make you feel alright, and Northern girls’ kisses keep their boyfriends warm) while still wishing that they could all be California girls.  The song was an international smash, charting in 10 countries worldwide, peaking at #3 in the U.S. but reaching #2 in Canada and topping the charts in South Africa.  The song was famously covered by erstwhile Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth 20 years later as his first solo release, once again peaking at #3 in the U.S.  Roth’s version featured Brian Wilson’s youngest brother Carl on background vocals, joined by none other than Christopher Cross.

3. “God Only Knows” (1966) – 1966’s Pet Sounds is The Beach Boys’ most acclaimed album and this song was one of the singles from that album. (It was actually the B-side of our #2 song.)  The album is an early example of a concept album and focused on youth from a largely more introspective perspective than most of their earlier songs.  This particular song was groundbreaking both in its musical complexity and inverted chords as well as its use of God in the chorus and title, things that were essentially unheard of in popular music at the time.  The lyrics convey a seriousness and moroseness uncommon to most love songs as the narrator says that without his lover, life would not worth living and only God knows what would happen. Wilson cited The Beatles’ “Rubber Soul” as his inspiration for both the Pet Sounds record as a whole and this song in particular.  As may be predicted based upon the foregoing explanation, the song was only a minor hit at the time in the U.S., peaking at only #39.  However, it was more successful overseas, where it reached the Top 10 in Ireland, the Netherlands, Norway and the UK.  Over time, it has become one of Wilson’s most acclaimed works, ranking at #25 on Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

2. “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” (1966) – Another track from Pet Sounds, this song is deceptively catchy.  It juxtaposes upbeat, joyous-sounding music with melancholic lyrics. The lyrics tell of a young couple in love who fantasize about getting older and being married and being able to live together, fall asleep together and wake up together every day.  Instead of focusing on the pleasures of youth like much of the band’s repertoire, it takes a more mature, introspective approach and instead shows a yearning to be older.  Longtime readers of this blog are well aware of my affinity for sad songs and wistful, melancholic lyrics and this song (as well as our #3 selection above) check those boxes.  The song peaked at #8 in the U.S., while also reaching the Top 10 in Australia, Canada and New Zealand. 

1. “Good Vibrations” (1966) – Anyone who is a fan of The Beach Boys and has been reading this list probably could have already figured out what #1 was. This track is, in many ways, the culmination of all of Brian Wilson’s skills in the studio and as a vocal arranger. It melds a catchy chorus with overlayed and overlapping vocals, as well as a wide variety of musical instruments.  In addition to the six members of the band, there were more than 20 other musicians who took part in the recording process, which was spread over an unheard of (at the time) 7 months and cost the modern equivalent of a quarter of a million dollars. Again, this is just for ONE song less than 4 minutes in length!  The result was both a commercial and critical smash that hit #1 in six countries and reached the Top 20 in 18 countries around the globe. Sadly, the success of this single also became the undoing of Brian Wilson, both personally and professionally.  His perfectionism and his desire to outdo what he accomplished with this song, coupled with his increasing drug use and mental illness, became debilitating. He soon retreated from public view and often spent days on end within his house and room, not going outside at all.  As a result, this was the last #1 and last Top 10 hit that Wilson was involved with.  The Beach Boys themselves did not have another Top 20 hit until 22 years later, when “Kokomo” topped the charts in 1988.  However, Brian Wilson had no involvement in that song, so “Good Vibrations” remains the pinnacle of the career of a uniquely talented but tortured artist.

Honorable Mention:

“In My Room” (1963)

“Surfin’ Safari (1962)

“Little Saint Nick” (1963)

Norm Peterson's Greatest Hits

Cheers was a hit comedy that aired on NBC for 11 seasons from September 30, 1982 to May 20, 1993.  While I was too young to have watched the initial seasons, I caught them in re-runs and, by the early 1990s, it had become one of my favorite shows.  In fact, despite it having been off the air for more than 32 years, it is still one of my three favorite TV comedies of all time (along with Friends and Seinfeld).  My college friends will attest to my nightly ritual of watching Cheers re-runs at 10:35pm while enjoying a 32-ounce cup of Dr Pepper and a bag of microwave popcorn, all while sitting in my bean bag chair.

While Cheers brought us lots of funny episodes and loads of memorable characters, few are remembered as fondly as Norm Peterson, portrayed by George Wendt.  A regular at the bar, one gag that continued for the duration of the series was Norm entering the bar to a chorus of people yelling “Norm!” and then one of the bartenders asking Norm a question and getting a humorous or sarcastic response in reply.

In memory of George Wendt, who passed away earlier this week, I give you my Top 12 one-liners from Norm – his so-called “greatest hits”.

 

12.       Sam: “How’s life in the fast lane, Normy?”

            Norm: “Beats me. I can’t find the on ramp.”

11.       Woody: “What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?”

            Norm: “Let’s talk about what’s going IN Mr. Peterson.”

 

10.       Coach: “How’s life treating you, Norm?”

            Norm: “Like it caught me in bed with its wife.”

 

9.         Woody: “What’s going down, Mr. Peterson?”

            Norm: “My cheeks on this barstool.”

 

8.         Woody: “Hey, Mr. Peterson. What do you say to a cold one?”

            Norm: “See you later, Vera. I’ll be at Cheers.”

 

7.         Woody: “There’s a cold one waiting for you, Mr. Peterson.”

            Norm: “I know and if she calls, I’m not here.”

 

6.         Woody: “Hey, Mr. Peterson. Jack Frost nipping at your nose?”

            Norm: “Yeah, now let’s get Joe Beer nipping at my liver.”

 

5.         Sam: “What’s up, Norm?”

            Norm: “My nipples. It’s freezing out there.”

 

4.         Coach: “How’s a beer sound, Norm?”

            Norm: “I don’t know, Coach. I normally finish them before they get a word in.”

 

3.         Coach: “What’s shaking, Norm?”

            Norm: “All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.”

 

2.         Sam: “What are you up to, Norm?”

            Norm: “My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.”

 

1.               1.               Sam: “What’s happening, Norm?”

Norm: “It’s a dog eat dog world, Sammy, and I’m wearing Mike Bone underwear.”

 

RIP, George Wendt, and thanks for the laughs. Here’s hoping St. Peter and a bunch of angels all greeted you with a big heavenly “NORM!” at the pearly gates.

Cheers!

Another Current Events Rant

It’s been a while since I’ve gone on a rant and I have some things to get off my chest, so sit back and let me vent…

Trump and Tariffs- I could rant for hours about Donald Trump and what a disaster he is and how much damage he is inflicting on our country and the world.  But, in order to be (somewhat) brief and focused, I will divide my thoughts into a couple of different areas.  First off, tariffs.  For one thing, I’m still not convinced that Trump knows how tariffs work and I know for damn sure that a lot of his followers don’t.  Tariffs are not a tax on other countries.  Other countries don’t pay tariffs.  The importing company (aka the company in the good old US of A) pays them.  So, if we charge a tariff on, say, computer chips coming in from China, it’s not CHINA that is paying the tariff – it is the U.S.-based company that is importing those computer chips that pays the tariff. So, while it may be additional dollars coming into the government’s coffers, it’s not money coming from foreign countries or entities providing those dollars. It’s American companies doing so.  And how do you think that the American companies will recoup those extra expenses?  They will raise prices on their products, which then means you and I will pay more for those products for no other reason than Trump mistakenly thinks it’s an awesome idea.

Tariffs have their place and can be useful, but only when they are applied strategically to certain products and industries, as opposed to broad-based tariffs on everything. In theory – and this is what Trump keeps saying – tariffs can bring some production/manufacturing back to the U.S. However, that takes a lot of time to occur, if it even occurs at all.  If a company wanted to decide to make those aforementioned computer chips in the U.S., there is a LOT of time and planning and expenses that go into that.  The company has to spend likely hundreds of millions of dollars to design and build the plant and to then staff the plant and it will likely be at least a few years before the plant is up and running.  What is the likelihood that the company is going to elect to do THAT instead of just pay the tariffs and then charge more for the computer chips they continue to get from China and call it a day?  That is certainly easier and cheaper than building and staffing a whole new factory.  Also, who is going to work at these factories?  Unemployment is already low and I can tell you from very recent experience, hiring people into factory or production facilities is NOT easy as is.  There generally are not a lot of people lining up to work in a factory or production environment, so adding more of those jobs is only going to exacerbate the existing labor struggles that exist.  So, we’re all going to be paying more now and in the future on the possible, maybe, off-chance that companies will spend hundreds of millions of dollars to do something that probably doesn’t make much financial sense for them to do.  It’s not difficult to see how Trump managed to lose money on casinos nor why he filed for bankruptcy multiple times.

 

Trump and DOGE- I think we can probably all agree that our federal government was bloated and there was probably a fair amount of waste, duplication of effort, etc.  No one is saying that the bureaucracy ran like a proverbial well-oiled machine.  If you want to cut the fat and streamline government, I’m 100% in favor of doing so.  But you don’t do it the way that Trump and Elon Musk are doing it.  You don’t just fire tens of thousands of people, many of whom you don’t know what they do or if what they do is necessary.  You take a more measured, surgical approach.  You take your time to audit the department, determine what it does well and what it doesn’t do well and you figure out a way to focus on the former and get rid of the latter.  If you do that, you can reduce and streamline the government bureaucracy but do it in a way that intelligently right-sizes things.  You don’t just take a sledgehammer or a chainsaw and cut the whole damn thing down indiscriminately.  People say the government should be run like a company, but even companies generally are strategic in making cuts or laying off employees. They reassess their needs and where cuts can be made and how to minimize the fallout with the remaining employees, customers, clients, etc. Trump and Musk are not doing that and they are creating a mess while making vague promises and assertions about all of the money they are allegedly saving us.

 Also, please do not forget that Musk has dozens of government contracts, so it’s not like we have an unbiased, impartial person making determinations on what stays and what goes.  We have someone who has his hand in the government’s pocket and is undoubtedly making decisions that will benefit himself now or at some point in the future.

 

Trump and “America First” – One of the biggest claims that Trump makes and that his followers constantly repeat is that he is putting “America First.”  Really, I’m supposed to believe that a man who used phony “bone spurs” to avoid serving his country in Vietnam has any interest in putting America first? I’m supposed to believe that a guy who has married women from foreign countries twice is going to put America first?  I’m supposed to believe a man who openly fawns over authoritarian leaders like Vladmir Putin and Viktor Orban has any interest in actually putting America first?  Trump only cares about one thing: himself.  He’s proven that time and time again over the years and the fact that a large component of our electorate and population are too delusional to see that is extremely alarming.

 

Why do we even vote in Missouri? – Missouri Republicans – who control virtually every facet of state government these days – now have a long history of undoing things that voters did at the ballot box.  For a party that constantly cries about “free and fair” elections and respecting the will of the voters, they consistently do the opposite in the Show-Me State.  From puppy mills to local minimum wage laws to now paid sick leave, Republicans in Missouri have been, for more than a decade now, disregarding what happens at the ballot box.  Here’s the general playbook:

             A)     Citizen-led initiative gets enough signatures to get a measure on the ballot

B)     Voters overwhelmingly approve measure at the ballot box

C)      Missouri Republicans don’t like what the voters did, so they insult their intelligence (“they were confused,” “they didn’t really know what they were voting for”) and then promptly draft and pass bills undoing what happened in B above.

You see, they talk about things like “small government” while consistently acting like they are the dismissive parent who knows best what we need.  When the City of St. Louis passed a minimum wage ordinance that set minimum wage in the city above what it was in the state, the Republicans in Jefferson City stepped in and said “Nope, we don’t like that” and passed laws essentially restricting a city from governing itself. All because they didn’t like what the local government did. That’s being Big Brother and is the opposite of “small government.”

Which brings us to our latest episode of “Missouri Republicans Undoing the Will of the People.” As part of Proposition A that was on the ballot last November – which was approved by nearly 58% of voters – employees are scheduled to be entitled to paid sick leave beginning on May 1.  Employees will accrue 1 hour of paid sick leave for every 30 hours worked, capped at 56 hours (7 days) used per year.  The earned paid sick leave could be used for the employee’s own illness or to care for a loved one. It’s really a small thing: thinking that someone who works hard for a living shouldn’t have to either A) lose money because they got sick and had to stay home or B) come to work sick – potentially infecting others – because they cannot afford to lose that money.  We can argue about what the right number of sick days is or how they should be used, but conceptually, I think most people agree that an employee should not be forced to choose between losing money or coming to work sick.  It’s kind of common sense, which is why (I believe) the bill passed overwhelmingly at the ballot box last November.

 While there were groups stumping for and supporting the proposition last fall, there were no groups campaigning against it.  Now we know why.  Instead of spending money to keep the proposition from passing in the first place, those groups (like the Missouri Chamber of Commerce) are just pressuring the state representatives and state senators whom they have financially supported in the past to do their bidding and get rid of paid sick leave. And it’s working!  The Missouri House has already passed a bill getting rid of paid sick leave and it is now with the Missouri Senate, where it is likewise expected to pass and then be signed by the governor.  So, more than 57% of Missouri voters made their voices heard in November and the Missouri GOP is essentially flipping them the bird less than 6 months later.

 As I said before, we can argue conceptually about how much sick leave people need or whether or not government mandating companies to provide paid sick leave is the right way to do it.  But, at the end of the day, the voters spoke and the elected leaders should not just be able to override that because they have a deep pocketed businessman in their ear telling them they should.  Sadly, this has happened multiple times in Missouri over the past 15 years and there’s no reason to believe it will change unless we hold those in Jeff City responsible and vote them out next year.  But we all know that won’t happen because of the letter after their name on the ballot the next time around.

 Just remember that the next time a Missouri Republican talks about standing up for the little guy and representing the best interests of Missourians, they are full of shit.  They only care about whoever is lining their pockets and that generally isn’t going to be you or me.          

Top 20 1980s Movie Soundtrack Songs

The 1980s were the proverbial Golden Age of movie soundtracks.  It seemed like every big movie in the '80s was accompanied by a hit soundtrack.  While listening to the VJ Big 40 on SiriusXM a few weeks back, I was blown away by the number of songs in the countdown that were from movie soundtracks.  From that realization came the idea for this blog post.

Here is my list of the Top 20 songs from movie soundtracks from the '80s.  To qualify for the list, the song had to be specifically written and recorded for the film in question and it had to be featured in the film. I made one minor exception to those qualifications, which we will discuss when we get to #9.  These qualifications unfortunately exclude gems like "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel. While the song was prominently featured in an iconic scene in Cameron Crowe's 1989 film "Say Anything...", it was recorded for Gabriel's monster 1986 album So and it was released as a single and charted in that year, a few years before it appeared in the film.

So (pun intended), here we go.  Here is my list of the Top 20 Songs from '80s Movie Soundtracks.

20. Song: "She's Like the Wind"

Artist: Patrick Swayze
Songwriter(s): Patrick Swayze, Stacy Widelitz
Movie: Dirty Dancing (1987)

Peak Chart Position: #3 in the U.S. Billboard Hot 100

Comments: The first of three entries from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack, this ballad was written and performed by the main star of the film, Patrick Swayze. It was actually written for a different '80s movie, Grandview U.S.A. but it didn't make the cut. Given that, as a result of this song and his role in the film, Swayze could be considered a singer, songwriter, actor and dancer - a quadruple threat. Sure, the song may be a little cheesy, but it gets bonus points for being written and performed by film's star himself, something that did not happen with many of the songs on this list.

19. Song: "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now"
Artist: Starship
Songwriter(s): Diane Warren, Albert Hammond
Movie: Mannequin (1987)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S., Canada, Ireland, Portugal and the UK

Comments: Written by two of the industry's most prolific corporate/soundtrack songwriters, this song marks Warren's first #1 hit on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100.  It's a little sappy and schmaltzy - much like the movie for which it was the theme song - it's also undeniably catchy and a good representation of what the 1980s sounded like.

18. Song: "Purple Rain"
Artist: Prince 
Songwriter(s): Prince
Movie: Purple Rain (1984)

Peak Chart Position: #2 in the U.S.; #1 in Belgium, Finland, Scotland and the Netherlands

Comments: This is the first - but not the last - song from Prince and his Purple Rain soundtrack. A majestic, almost gospel-tinged number, this was the title track. Prince's impassioned, soulful vocals are backed by prominent synthesizers (it was the '80s, after all) and some guitar flourishes that hint at Prince's six-string prowess. While the single version is just a shade over 4 minutes in length, the full album version goes on for more than 8 minutes.

17. Song: "Maniac"
Artist: Michael Sembello
Songwriter(s): Dennis Matkosky, Michael Sembello
Movie: Flashdance (1983)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S. and Canada

Comments: Sembello's lone hit single in a lengthy career as a performer, songwriter and producer is a pulsating, up tempo number drenched in the synthesizers and electronic drums that ruled pop music in the '80s. This song is an example of the power of MTV in the early '80s as the song's video - which prominently featured clips from the film - helped propel the song and the movie to increased popularity.

16. Song: "I'm Alright"
Artist: Kenny Loggins
Songwriter(s): Kenny Loggins
Movie: Caddyshack (1980)

Peak Chart Position: #7 in the U.S.

Comments: Kenny Loggins was - without question - the undisputed king of hit soundtrack songs in 1980s. As a result, he will appear on this countdown three times with songs from three different soundtracks. This is his first entry on our list and it's also the earliest of the three, serving as it did as the theme song to a movie from 1980.  It will probably forever be linked with the dancing gopher from the film.

15. Song: "Flashdance...What a Feeling"

Artist: Irene Cara
Songwriter(s): Giorgio Moroder, Keith Forsey, Irene Cara
Movie: Flashdance (1980)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S. and more than a dozen other countries around the globe

Comments: This was not Irene Cara's first big '80s soundtrack hit, as she had previously topped the charts in 1980 with "Fame," the title track to the film of the same name in which she starred. Whereas that song was a post-disco number that represented the sound of music at the turn of the decade, this one helped - once again with the assistance of its video on MTV - solidify the 1980s as the decade of the movie soundtrack. Bonus points for the fact that Cara co-wrote this one, too.

14. Song: "Hungry Eyes"
Artist: Eric Carmen
Songwriter(s): John DeNicola, Franke Previte
Movie: Dirty Dancing (1987)

Peak Chart Position: #4 in the U.S.

Comments: Carmen, who after charting three Top 20 hits in the 1970s, had been nearly 10 years without a hit song when he cut this one for the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. It featured prominently in the film and catapulted Carmen back to fame - and least for a while. While this is Carmen's sole appearance on this list as a performer, it is not his last overall, as he co-wrote our #12 song.

13. Song: "Almost Paradise"
Artist: Mike Reno and Ann Wilson
Songwriter(s): Eric Carmen, Dean Pitchford
Movie: Footloose (1984)

Peak Chart Position: #7 in the U.S.

Comments: When you need a power ballad duet in the 1980s, you can scarcely do better than getting the lead singers from two huge rock bands to cut it.  Mike Reno was the lead singer of Loverboy and Ann Wilson was the primary lead singer of Heart. They come together to join forces in this powerhouse ballad from Footloose. How many slow dances at proms and weddings occurred to this song in the mid-'80s? I'd put that number in the tens of thousands.

12. Song: "The Heat Is On"
Artist: Glenn Frey
Songwriter(s): Harold Faltermeyer, Keith Forsey
Movie: Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

Peak Chart Position: #2 in the U.S.

Comments: It's somewhat ironic that Frey, who wrote and co-wrote a number of hit songs during his time with the Eagles (10 Top 10 hits and 5 #1s) struggled to recapture that success as a solo artist, only to finally ascend to the Top 5 with a song written by other people. With guitars, keyboards and an incessant saxophone hook, this song helped propel the Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack to double platinum status. It became an unofficial theme song of the 1985 St. Louis Cardinals, with a version remixed and released that included audio clips and highlights during the teams run to the NL pennant and World Series.  Since that team remains my favorite baseball team of all time, this song has always had a warm place in my heart.

11. Song: "If You Leave"
Artist: Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD)
Songwriter(s): Andy McCluskey, Paul Humphreys, Martin Cooper
Movie: Pretty in Pink (1986)

Peak Chart Position: #4 in the U.S.

Comments: First heard during the closing scene at the prom in Pretty in Pink, this song became OMD's biggest hit. It was commissioned by the film's writer, John Hughes, who was looking to repeat the success he had with the closing song from The Breakfast Club (more on that later). Catchy and synth-laden, it's a great representation of pop music in the '80s from one of the decade's seminal Brat Pack films.

10. Song: "Danger Zone"
Artist: Kenny Loggins
Songwriter(s): Giorgio Moroder, Tom Whitlock
Movie: Top Gun (1986)

Peak Chart Position: #2 in the U.S.

Comments: While the 1980s is often remembered as the decade of teenage comedies and the Brat Pack, it also boasted its own set of powerhouse action flicks.  Few of those were bigger than Top Gun. It had the machismo of fighter jets for the guys and shirtless oiled-up beefcakes playing volleyball for the ladies.  It was the perfect popcorn flick, complete with a soundtrack to match.  This upbeat, synth-heavy rocker marks Loggins's second appearance on our countdown but not his last.

9. Song: "Cruel Summer"
Artist: Bananarama
Songwriter(s): Steve Jolley, Tony Swain, Sara Dallin, Siobhan Fahey, Keren Woodward
Movie: The Karate Kid (1984)

Peak Chart Position: #9 in the U.S., #3 in South Africa, #7 in Ireland

Comments: This song technically doesn't meet my criteria for the list, in that it wasn't written for The Karate Kid.  It was actually recorded and released in the UK in 1983 as a standalone single.  However, the song wasn't even released in the U.S. until more than a year later - after it had been featured prominently in The Karate Kid. It's use in the song was perfect, with its less than upbeat lyrics about summer intertwined with visuals of Daniel's struggles to adjust to his new life in California. Interestingly, despite its appearance in the film which prompted its U.S. release and subsequent success, it never appeared on the soundtrack album because the band would not allow it. So despite not being written and recorded for the movie and not appearing on the soundtrack, I have included it on this list because its U.S. and international success was almost entirely predicated on its use in the film.

8. Song: "(I've Had) The Time of My Life"
Artist: Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes
Songwriter(s): John DeNicola, Donald Markowitz, Franke Previte
Movie: Dirty Dancing (1987)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S., Canada, Australia, Belgium, The Netherlands, and South Africa

Comments: The third and final entry from Dirty Dancing was the biggest hit of the three, as well as capturing an Oscar, a Grammy and a Golden Globe. It effectively served as the theme song of the film, as well as its finale with the long awaited, long practiced dance move in which Jennifer Grey runs, leaps and is held aloft by Patrick Swayze. So popular was the song and that scene, there's no telling how many injuries were treated by ERs around the country from couples attempting to reenact the famous scene. The song also marked Bill Medley's lone #1 hit outside of his work with The Righteous Brothers.

7. Song: "St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)"
Artist: John Parr
Songwriter(s): David Foster, John Parr
Movie: St. Elmo's Fire (1985)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S. and Canada

Comments: This is likely the least well known song on this list but it's one that I've always liked.  While I have never seen the movie (I was only 11 at the time and the film has a lot of sex scenes), I remember the song well.  Interestingly, while it was the theme song for the movie and the first single from the soundtrack, the lyrics actually have less to do with the film and more to do with a Canadian paraplegic athlete (Rick Hansen) traveling around the world in a wheelchair to raise awareness for spinal cord injuries. He called his journey the "Man in Motion Tour" and that moniker became the inspiration for the lyrics and parenthetical in the song's title.

6. Song: "Footloose"
Artist: Kenny Loggins
Songwriter(s): Kenny Loggins, Dean Pitchford
Movie: Footlose (1984)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S., Canada, Australia, Colombia, New Zealand, Peru and South Africa

Comments: Kenny Loggins - the '80s soundtrack king - is back on our countdown for the third and final time. It was the theme song to the Kevin Bacon starrer about a city boy who winds in a small town where dancing is banned. It is an undeniably catchy song and it's nearly impossible to not dance a little jig - or at least tap your foot - to the song. In a five decade career that has included 14 Top 40 hits, this is Loggins's only #1 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. Incidentally, while Loggins appears on our list three times, he also charted Top 40 hits with three other soundtrack songs in the '80s, but those songs didn't make the cut.

5. Song: "The Power of Love"
Artist: Huey Lewis and the News
Songwriter(s): Huey Lewis, Chris Hayes, Johnny Colla
Movie: Back to the Future (1985)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S., Canada, Australia, Japan

Comments: This song has nothing at all to do with the film's storyline, but it was featured during a couple of scenes during the film.  It was the band's first #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 charts - no doubt helped by its inclusion in the biggest film of 1985 - and it remains their best selling single. Interestingly, while the song was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Song, it lost to Lionel Ritchie's "Say You, Say Me" from White Nights, a song that doesn't even make our countdown.

4. Song: "Take My Breath Away"
Artist: Berlin
Songwriter(s): Giorgio Moroder, Tom Whitlock
Movie: Top Gun (1986)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S., U.K., Belgium, Europe, Ireland and the Netherlands

Comments: Whereas the first installment from Top Gun on this countdown represented the macho, fighter jet side of the film, this song represents the "forbidden love" portion of the story. It was prominently featured during the love scene between Maverick and Charlie...you know the scene...the silhouetted one with the gratuitious shots of Tom Cruise's and Kelly McGillis's tongues. Like the film, the song was a massive hit, becoming Berlin's only Top 10 hit, though it also led to the dissolution of the band. This song also marks the third appearance on our list of Giorgio Moroder, an Italian composer who worked on numerous movie soundtracks in the 1980s - everything from Flashdance and The NeverEnding Story to Top Gun and Scarface. He was the behind the scenes Kenny Loggins, if you will.

3. Song: "When Doves Cry"
Artist: Prince 
Songwriter(s): Prince
Movie: Purple Rain (1984)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S., Canada, Australia

Comments: Prince's second entry on our list is his second - but not last - from his film Purple Rain. It shows a little bit of his guitar flourish - especially toward the end - but focuses more on synthesizers and drum machines. It sounds very different from his other two songs on our countdown and helps illustrate the breadth and diversity of Prince as a performer. It became of one of Prince's signature songs, topping the charts in three different countries and reaching the top 10 in eight others.

2. Song: "Let's Go Crazy"
Artist: Prince 
Songwriter(s): Prince
Movie: Purple Rain (1984)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S.

Comments: Prince's third and final entry on our list is, like the other two, from his film Purple Rain. Prince was, by all accounts, a guitar virtuoso, though his music seldom accentuated that fact.  This song, however, is one that does. From the opening organ chords to the screeching guitar solo that ends the song, it is probably Prince's hardest rocking hit song. Guitar riffs and two separate solos remove all doubt about his abilities as a guitarist. 40 years after its release, this tune is arguably Prince's most popular and enduring.

1. Song: "Don't You (Forget About Me)"
Artist: Simple Minds 
Songwriter(s): Keith Forsey, Steve Schiff
Movie: The Breakfast Club (1985)

Peak Chart Position: #1 in the U.S., Canada, Netherlands

Comments: An iconic closing song to arguably the most iconic Brat Pack film of the '80s, this was an obvious choice for our top spot.  Interestingly, the song wasn't written by any members of the band and they initially rejected it until lead singer Jim Kerr's then wife, Chrissy Hynde of Pretenders fame, convinced him to record it.  The "hey hey hey" in the song's introduction and the "la la la" sing-along section at the end of the song were both improvised and added by Kerr with the intention of being changed to actual lyrics later on but he was convinced to keep it as. AmericanSongwritter.com has described the song as "an '80s masterpiece" and "an American teen anthem." I agree and that's why it tops our list.

There you have it, my list of the Top 20 movie soundtrack songs from the '80s. Are there any I missed?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

As always, thanks for reading! 

Over The Hill - Or Just Getting Started?

“Life’s about changing. Nothing ever stays the same.”  - “How Can I Help You Say Goodbye” by Karen Taylor-Good and Burton Banks Collins (performed by Patty Loveless)

 

I recently celebrated my 50^th birthday. In many ways, it’s hard to believe that I’ve been on this planet for an entire half century. In others, especially looking back at the past few years, it’s easier to believe just due to the sheer number of changes that have occurred.

Some of you know to what I’m referring. Others of you haven’t a clue. In short, because of some poor decisions I made in my personal life, my entire world was thrown into chaos. I deeply hurt those to whom I was closest. My marriage ended, personal relationships were damaged – in some cases irrevocably – and I found myself in a place I had never been before: adrift, without a home and wondering if I was a terrible person. I was despondent. I was remorseful. I was broken.

Over a period of several months, I began to find my stride again. This was due, in part, to therapy. The therapist helped me come to terms with my decision-making and to realize that bad choices did not make a bad person. Instead, I was a good person who made some bad choices and I now had to come to terms with that, the consequences of those choices and find a way to move on.

The other thing that helped me was finding a new church. On a whim, I visited a church I’d driven by a thousand times but had never set foot inside. By the grace of God, the church was in a sermon series called “Broken Heroes.” Each week, the series covered figures from the Bible through whom God accomplished amazing things, in spite of the fact that every single one of those people had made terrible choices and carried with them significant personal baggage. It was a God thing – messages that hit me right where I needed to be hit. Through that sermon series and others that followed, God showed me that just because I’m broken, that doesn’t mean that I’m not worthy and that I don’t have value. I could be forgiven and God could take the broken pieces of my life and put them back together and make something beautiful out of it. It was a revelation and it helped me get back on my feet again.

As wonderful as the therapist’s advice and the sermons were, they were still philosophical. I could believe that I was still worthy of good things – despite my mistakes and bad choices – but it was still an abstract idea and concept.  It wasn’t until the summer of 2022 that it became empirical, existential and real. That is when a met a person who was the embodiment of all of those positive concepts.  Somebody who met me at my lowest, accepted me with all of my faults and baggage and showed me that I wasn’t broken, damaged goods. She showed me that I AM a good person who deserves happiness and she accepted me and loved me for exactly who I was.

So, I saw one relationship end and I saw another begin. Changes. I moved into one apartment and then another. Changes. I left one church and joined another. Changes. For someone who has always enjoyed consistency and constants – both in my personal and professional life – I was dealing with change in all aspects of my life.

In the face all of that change, what did I do? Well, I decided to throw caution to the wind and quit my job. I left a company and a department I had been in for 22 years and decided to start over again with a new job and a new company. I joked at the time that everything else had changed in my life, why not change jobs too?

In the span of just over two years, virtually everything in my life had changed: my address, my marital status, my church and my job.  At times, it has been absolutely terrifying.  But, you know what? Through all of these changes, I have come out the other side a different person. A braver person. And, at the end of the day, a happier person.

Don’t get me wrong. I have regrets over some of the choices I made and I will be paying for some of those choices for the rest of my life. But I am now in a relationship with my best friend, the person who knows me better than anyone else (besides God!) and the person with whom I can really, truly be my genuine self. We are engaged and will soon be married and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with her.

What’s my point? Well, some changes are thrust upon us. Others we choose ourselves. Many changes are hard but, often, they also help you get where you want to be and where you need to be. Five years ago, I could have never foreseen the twists and turns my life has taken. But, through it all, God – and the amazing guardian angel He sent me – have gotten me to a wonderful place on the other side.

So, dear readers, don’t be afraid to make a change and do new things. You never know where those changes may lead you.

I’m 50 and, thus, in many ways, perhaps my best years are behind me. But, with a new relationship and a new job and a new outlook – folks, I’m just getting started!

Ranking the School Nicknames - ACC and SEC

This is the second in a series of posts ranking the nicknames of schools within conferences.  We started out in the middle of the country with the Big 12 and Big Ten.  Now we're going to slide south and east and cover the ACC and the SEC.  As stated in the previous post, the teams included in each conference are accurate as of the upcoming 2023-24 academic year, so if you're looking for my comments/ranking on Texas and Oklahoma, you'll have to go to the Big 12 listing.

Here we go...starting with the ACC, which comes before the SEC alphabetically and which has a better mix of nicknames than the SEC, which is the worst among all Power 5/Power 6 conferences.

ACC School Nickname Rankings

12. Clemson Tigers - Bo-ring. Also, purple?  Orange I can get, but purple?

11. Boston College Eagles - Another lame, too common nickname. Zzzzzz.

10. Louisville Cardinals - Cardinals is not as common as tigers or eagles, but it's not exactly unique, seeing as how schools like Ball State and Illinois State also use it. Demerits as well for using too little red and too much black in their uniform color schemes.

9. NC State Wolfpack - There are four ACC schools in North Carolina and this nickname is the most vanilla of the four.  It's not terrible, but it's not great, either.

8. Florida State Seminoles - As I have stated previously, I'm not a fan of Native American nicknames/mascots.  While most schools who used to have them have since changed to different nicknames, Florida State has been one of the few holdouts.  However, the school has also worked closely with the Seminole tribe in Florida to ensure that the tribe supports the nickname and that it is used in a manner that they deemed appropriate and inoffensive.  There is still controversy surrounding it, as the Seminole Nation of Oklahoma has condemned the continued use of the Seminoles nickname by FSU. I struggled with where to rank this one, so it slides in just above the bottom third.

7. Duke Blue Devils - At first glance, Blue Devils seems like an odd choice for a school that was originally tied to Methodism and The Methodist Church.  But further research indicates that the name was chosen to honor a World War I French infantry battalion (Chasseurs Alpins) who was nicknamed "les Diables Bleus" which translates to English "the Blue Devils."  It has absolutely nothing to do with the university or the area in which it is located, but it's also not overly common, so it comes in in the middle of the pack of ACC nicknames.

6. Syracuse Orange - I struggled with where to put this one because it has its roots in the school's former nickname "Orangemen," which was a Native American pejorative.  The school also used a Native American mascot from the early 1930s until the late 1970s.  The school eventually went with just the color orange, which itself was chosen in tribute to the Netherlands, which originally colonized New York state and the many places in upstate New York that have Dutch heritage. They dropped the Native American references and introduced a new mascot in the 1990s, Otto the Orange, who is an anthropomorphic orange.  It is unique and thus it moves into the top half of our list.

5. Virginia Cavaliers - This nickname has its roots in the days of Colonial Virginia and those colonists who were supporters of the English crown during the English Civil War in the mid 1600s.  Those folks were known as the "Virginia Cavaliers" and the name was eventually adopted by the athletic teams at UVA and eventually the students and alums as a whole.  Very seldom does an American university's nickname have roots that go back to colonial times, making this one pretty unique.  

4. Virginia Tech Hokies - A nickname that made the list of weirdest nicknames in my earlier blog post, this is a nickname based upon a made-up, nonsense word.  The term evolved from a spirit cheer developed in 1896, the majority of which is a bunch of gibberish.  For some reason, the "Hokie" part stuck and the teams were named after that.  Because no one knows what the hell a hokie is, the team's actual mascot at sporting events is an anthropomorphic turkey-like creature, a nod to the informal nickname of the "Fighting Gobblers" that Tech fans have used for their teams since the 1920s.  Whether you call them the "Hokies" or the "Gobblers," it's a weird mascot either way but it's also unique, which puts it in the top third of our list for the ACC.

3. Wake Forest Demon Deacons - Originally, Wake Forest's sports teams were known as the "Fighting Baptists," which might be the coolest and most accurate name in the history of sports. 

However, in 1923, following a big football win, a sportswriter said that the Deacons "fought like demons" and the "Demon Deacons" moniker came to fruition and then stuck.  It's certainly an odd nickname, though it still has a connection to the old Baptist roots of the university.  Their logo, though, can be best described as "angry old man wearing top hat," which isn't as awesome as "Fighting Baptists" and is admittedly a little too wordy to actually use as the name of the teams.

2. North Carolina Tar Heels - This is another unusual nickname that made my earlier list of the weirdest college nicknames. In some ways, this one is similar to "Indiana Hoosiers" in the sense that it's a term broadly applied to the residents of the state, as well as the state's flagship university, but no one knows exactly where the name came from.  It likely stems from the fact that things like tar and turpentine were early exports from North Carolina's pine forests and it was a term that grew in popularity during the Civil War.  It was originally a pejorative but North Carolinians then turned it into a source of pride.  It's unique and has a historical background that dates back to colonial times, so it ranks near the top of nicknames in the ACC.

1. Miami Hurricanes - This nickname made my list of the best overall, so it is no surprise that it ranks at the top of the ACC. Hurricanes is a great choice for a school in a city that has, unfortunately, experienced the wrath of hurricanes over the years. Whereas most nicknames pay tribute to animals or people, this one is an inanimate object but it is certainly still something strong that can strike fear into people.

So there's my list for the ACC.  Now we move into the SEC, which may boast the best football and baseball teams but which arguably has the lamest collection of nicknames of any conference.

SEC School Nickname Rankings

14. Kentucky Wildcats - As I've said many times before, "wildcats" is the most generic, boring, unimaginative mascot possible.

13. Auburn Tigers - Another too common choice, but Auburn gets rated the lowest of the tiger nicknames in the conference in part because they also utilize another too common nickname/mascot with the whole "War Eagle" thing.

12. LSU Tigers - Another tigers and another school that has included the decidedly non-tiger color of purple to their palette.  Small props for the "Bayou Bengals" moniker, though.

11. Missouri Tigers - Yep, yet ANOTHER tigers.  However, Missouri gets the nod over the other two due to the fact that the nickname actually harkens back to the Civil War, as it was the nickname applied to a Union militia that protected Columbia during the war. They were called "The Missouri Tigers" and that helped lead to the nickname of the eventual teams at Mizzou.  And, unlike the other tiger teams in the conference, Mizzou's black and gold color scheme makes sense. 

10. Mississippi State Bulldogs - First wildcats, then tigers (x3) and now bulldogs?  Yes, the SEC has a large number of lame, too common nicknames. There's really nothing more to say than that.

9. Georgia Bulldogs - Sigh.  Another snoozer.  But Georgia gets the nod over Mississippi State on account of Uga.

8. Texas A&M Aggies - I struggled with where to put this one and not because I dislike A&M.  It's more a function of their myriad of mixed signals with regard to the nickname and mascot.  Officially, it is "Aggies" which is about as bland and ordinary as you can get for a college whose routes lie in agriculture (see Utah State, New Mexico State, North Carolina A&T, among others).  To further confuse things, they have a lot of military symbolism (on account of its Corps of Cadets, which is the largest senior military college in the country), but yet their mascot is a border collie named Reveille.  It's all kind of a jumbled mess, so we'll throw it here in the middle of the pack.

7. Ole Miss Rebels - It's unique, but seeing as how it is ultimately rooted in the Confederacy and the Civil War, it's not necessarily a good unique.  Kudos to ditching the old plantation owner Colonel Reb mascot, but I'm not sure what to make of replacing him with a bear and, now, a shark.

6. Vanderbilt Commodores - Finally, we start getting to some good, unique nicknames in the SEC.  Vanderbilt is named after Cornelius Vanderbilt, who provided the lead gift to establish the university.  Mr. Vanderbilt's nickname was "The Commodore" due to the fact that he made his fortune in shipping.  It's unique and historically relevant, so it kicks off the better part of the SEC rankings.

5. Alabama Crimson Tide - Many of the more unique mascots in the college sports came out of sports stories and newspaper articles covering the schools' teams.  This one is an example of that trend, as the "Crimson Tide" moniker first appeared in 1907 in a story about an Alabama-Auburn football game played on a muddy field in which Alabama's crimson uniforms stood out.  Now, I'm not sure how an elephant became their mascot, but...

4. South Carolina Gamecocks - South Carolina's mascot has been the Gamecocks since 1900.  A gamecock is a rooster bred for cockfighting, though my favorite definition of "gamecock" is one I saw on a bumper sticker on vacation in South Carolina years ago:

It's a little weird, but it's certainly unique and in a conference that doesn't have very many good nicknames, it slides in at #4.

3. Arkansas Razorbacks - It too a long time but we've FINALLY gotten to some good nicknames in the SEC.  Having a team named after a bunch of feral pigs is very cool and seems somewhat appropriate for the state they represent, seeing as how feral swine are most prevalent in southern states like Arkansas and Texas.  Arkansas also holds the distinction of being the only Division I program with a porcine mascot, even if it does result in that ridiculous "calling of the hogs" cheer. There's not much to like about Arkansas - certainly not their unjustly boastful fans, most of whom probably never went to college - but I have to give them props for their choice of a nickname.

2. Florida Gators - One of the first things people think about when they think of Florida - after beaches, palm trees, Disney and senior citizens - are alligators.  Alligators are part of the lore of Florida, what with the Everglades and other swamps and fresh water lakes around the state.  As such, it makes perfect sense for the state's primary land grant college to have Gators as their nickname.  The fact that the nickname of the football stadium is "The Swamp" just adds to the equation.  It might be an obvious choice, but it's still pretty perfect.

1. Tennessee Volunteers - Tennessee is "The Volunteer State," so named for their overwhelming response for volunteers to fight in the Mexican-American War in the 1840s.  President Polk requested 2,600 volunteers nationwide and got more than 10 times that many volunteers from Tennessee alone.  With that lineage, it makes perfect sense for the state's main university to christen its sports teams the Volunteers.  It's unique and has historical significance, so it tops the list of nicknames in the SEC.

There you have it! My ranking of the school nicknames in the ACC and SEC.  Stay tuned for another post in the near future where I'll rank the Pac12 and the Big East.  Until then, thanks for reading!

Ranking the School Nicknames - Big 12 and Big Ten

A few years ago, I did a list of my choices for the best, worst and weirdest college mascots/nicknames.  Now, I'd like to take it one step further and rank the school nicknames in each conference.  We will start in the middle part of the country with the Big 12 and Big Ten.

Please note that the teams listed for each conference are accurate as of the 2023-24 academic year. So, Texas and Oklahoma are included for the Big 12 (and excluded from a future post about the SEC) as are BYU, UCF, Cincinnati and Houston. Likewise, UCLA and USC are NOT included for the Big Ten but will be included in a future post about the Pac 12. Also, please note that I'm ranking the school nicknames as opposed to the school's actual mascot.

Here we go, beginning with the Big 12 and ranking them from worst to best...

Big 12 School Nickname Rankings

14. Kansas State Wildcats - As I've addressed previously, "wildcats" is about the boring, most generic nickname a school can have.

13. Houston Cougars - Similarly, "cougars" is generic and too common, as illustrated by the fact that there are two schools with cougar nicknames in the conference.

12. BYU Cougars - Ditto, but BYU gets the nod by virtue of it being older and the fact that there are actually cougars in the mountains of Utah, while there certainly aren't any in Houston...at least beyond the saucy middle-aged ladies who may be having a fling with their pool boy.

11. UCF Knights - "Knights" is another fairly ordinary mascot that shows up in quite a few schools.  It's not as generic as "wildcats" and "cougars" but it's not exactly great, either.

10. Oklahoma State Cowboys/Cowgirls - This is another choice that's not particularly distinctive, though I do think their Pistol Pete mascot is pretty cool.  Deductions too for a gender specific name that forces you to call men's and women's teams by different nicknames.

9. Cincinnati Bearcats - No one really knows what the heck a bearcat is.  Is that the binturong (a mammal native to Asia)? Is it a made-up creature?  Who knows.  It's a somewhat common mascot amongst smaller schools, though less common in the major conference.

8. Baylor Bears - It's pretty generic, though there surprisingly are not very many schools in the Power 5/Power 6 conferences that have this nickname. Bonus points for the fact that the live bear mascots actually live on campus. Also, I'm a sucker for alliteration and there really aren't that many alliterative college nicknames.

7. Iowa State Cyclones - Cyclones is a nice choice for a school in the Midwest and it's unique.  The only thing that keeps it from being ranked higher is the fact that they also use an anthropomorphic cardinal as their mascot, which is somewhat confusing. Still, this is a good transition point for the generic/boring nicknames to the more interesting ones.

6. Texas Tech Red Raiders - Whereas Oklahoma State went with a generic "cowboys/cowgirls" moniker, Texas Tech chose to go with a more specific and mysterious nickname and is all the better for it.  While the "red raider" is essentially a masked cowboy on a horse (think the Lone Ranger clad in black and red), the name has a mystique that puts it a notch above the run of the mill cowboy.

5. Kansas Jayhawks - I'm a sucker for nicknames that are attributable to historical or geographic animals/features that are unique to a particular city, state or region. The "jayhawks" moniker harkens back to the Jayhawker militias from the Bleeding Kansas era of the Civil War, so it's unique and has a historical basis.  While I like to refer to their jayhawk mascot/logo as a dime store chicken, I'll also give it some credit for being unique.

4. TCU Horned Frogs - This one made my earlier list of "weirdest" college nicknames.  On the one hand, it is a tribute to the Texas horned lizard, the state reptile of Texas.  On the other hand, this critter is generally docile and typically only 4 to 5 inches long, so it's not exactly a fearsome mascot, despite the reported ability for some species to shoot blood from the corners of their eyes.  All in all, it's certainly a unique nickname and thus it slides in at the top 1/3 of our list.

3. West Virginia Mountaineers - West Virginia is a mountainous, largely rural state in the heart of Appalachia, so using "mountaineers" as their nickname makes perfect sense.  The fact that, each year, a different student is selected to dress up as the coonskin hat-wearing mountaineer mascot is also pretty great.

2. Oklahoma Sooners - Like Kansas, Oklahoma's nickname has a history tied to the history of the area itself that goes back to the 1800s and actually predates statehood.  In this case, it's a reference to the settlers who participated in the Land Rush of 1889.  Back then, the folks who got to the land first - sooner - were able to lay claim to it, though some of those "sooners" may have played fast and loose with the rules and thus had an unfair advantage.  To their credit, OU has made the most of their nickname by using the "Sooner schooner" - a covered wagon similar to what was used during the aforementioned land rush - as a symbol of the school.  A unique, historically relevant nickname?  Well done, Oklahoma, even if your fight song is one of the most annoying, repetitive fight songs on the planet.

1. Texas Longhorns - As I've relayed countless times before, I hate UT. I hate their self-important fans, their hideous colors and their stupid, nigh on offensive alma mater, not to mention their ridiculous Longhorn Network. However, having said that, utilizing "Longhorns" as their team nickname is a perfect choice that makes almost too much sense.  The whole mythology of Texas is cowboys and longhorn cattle and the Wild West and "Longhorns" helps tie that all together very nicely.  Now that I've praised them for their nickname, we can all go back to hoping their teams lose every game they ever play...

OK, so there you have my rankings of the school nicknames of the Big 12.  Whereas the Big 12 has  several meh nicknames, we're now transitioning to the Big Ten, a conference that, in my opinion, has far and away the best collection of nicknames of any major conference in the country.  As a result, this ranking was one of the more difficult I've done.  One interesting thing of note with this conference is how many of the school nicknames reflect or are based on the nicknames of the states in which they are based. 

Big Ten School Nickname Rankings

14. Northwestern Wildcats - Unfortunately, even in a conference that has a lot of great nicknames, you still have a few duds, none more obvious than this one.  The most academically selective and challenging school in the conference unfortunately has the blandest, most generic mascot imaginable.

13. Rutgers Scarlet Knights - Another conference, another "knights" mascot.  Yawn. They tried to spice it up by throwing the "scarlet" in there but it's still a knight.

12. Illinois Fighting Illini - Unique? Yes. Historically relevant? Also yes. Offensive? Yes, though perhaps not as much as it used to be with the whole Chief Illiniwek dancing thing.

11. Michigan State Spartans - Another generic nickname that, like "Knights" and "Trojans", is used by countless colleges and high schools throughout the country.

10. Penn State Nittany Lions - This is an example of how adding a little local flair can make a big difference.  Instead of going with the generic "cougars" or "lions," they add a nod to the local Mount Nittany, the foot of which is where Penn State's campus is located.

9. Iowa Hawkeyes - This is another mascot that has Native American beginnings (attributable to the nickname of a character from The Last of the Mohicans).  Over the years, however, that context has faded and been replaced by more of hawk/bird connotation. Like many of the nicknames to follow, this one is also based in part on the entire state's nickname.

8. Michigan Wolverines - Michigan is known as "The Wolverine State," though there's no universally accepted reason why.  Regardless, it makes perfect sense for the nickname of the state's flagship research university.

7. Wisconsin Badgers - Similar to Michigan, Wisconsin is known as "The Badger State" on account of some of the original miner settlers in the 1820s and 1830s living in tunnels and abandoned mine shafts like badgers.  As such, it's only natural for "badgers" to be the nickname of the state's flagship university. Wisconsin gets the nod over Michigan in this ranking due to the historical nature of the moniker and the fact that badgers can actually be found in Wisconsin, while wolverines cannot be found in Michigan.

6. Minnesota Golden Gophers - Like our last two entries, this nickname comes largely as a result of the state's nickname itself.  Minnesota is known as "The Gopher State," originally from a political cartoon in the 1850s.  Minnesota gets the slight nod over Wisconsin by spicing it up by adding a color and because I think their anthropomorphic mascot Goldy is just slightly cooler than Wisconsin's anthropomorphic mascot Bucky.

5. Ohio State Buckeyes - Another school, another nickname based on the state's nickname.  Ohio is "The Buckeye State" as nod to Ohio buckeye tree found all over the state.  Choosing a tree as a nickname as opposed to the more obvious and common choice of an animal gives Ohio State a spot in the top 5.

4. Indiana Hoosiers - In my previous blog post, this one made the list of "weirdest mascots." Like most of these, it's tied in to the state nickname.  Indiana is "The Hoosier State", so using "Hoosiers" as the school's nickname makes perfect sense.  What gets a little weird is that no one knows exactly what the heck a Hoosier is and there's no commonly accepted explanation for how that nickname came about. Regardless, it's the historical nickname applied to folks from Indiana, so it has a combination of both historical significance as well as a weird/mysterious origin that gives it a bit of added mystique.

3. Maryland Terrapins - Maryland selected "terrapins" as their nickname after the diamondback terrapin, which is a species of turtle that is native to the Chesapeake Bay area of Maryland. It's a unique mascot that is a nod to the geography of the state, which makes it hard to beat.  In most conferences, it might be the top pick.  But in the rugged nickname landscape of the Big Ten, it's only good for 3rd place.

2. Purdue Boilermakers - Purdue is renowned for its engineering program and, in the early days of the university, its students actually maintained a fully operational steam locomotive.  A 1891 news story following a win by the Purdue football team referred to them as "the Burly Boiler Makers from Purdue" and the Boilermakers moniker became the official school nickname the following year.  The fact that the official mascot is a locomotive called the "Boilermaker Special" just ties it all together beautifully.

1. Nebraska Cornhuskers - Not only is this one the best mascot in the Big Ten, it is probably the best mascot in the country among all major conferences.  Midwestern plains states like Nebraska are often associated with fields of corn and wheat.  As such, the picture of a person husking corn is a fitting image and thus a perfect nickname for a college in Nebraska.  It's topical, appropriate and unique, so it tops the list of nicknames in a conference that has a lot of unique choices.

There you have it: my rankings of the school nicknames in the Big 12 and the Big Ten.  We will continue this theme in an upcoming blog post in which we will rank nicknames for two more conferences.

Thanks for reading!